Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Good Morning!

Today is referral day!! Yay!! After 3.5 years, 4 "missed" special needs attempts.........It is our day! It is our turn!!
I have been awake since 3:15, but made myself "sleep" until 4:15. I am now drinking my first cup of coffee, I have decided to forgo the gym this am, opting for a chemical buzz!! I will keep you posted! No news yet.......

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

See that....

little rectangle at the top of my blog? Right now it says LID 2/17/06. Tomorrow it will have a photograph of Flora. Can you believe it after years and years of waiting we will know who she is and where she is from and how big she is and what her birthday is. Now, how in the world will I be able to wait the 8 weeks to go and get her?
My agency has issued a stork sighting with an ETA of tommorrow!
Through this whole journey I have lamented, "if I only knew when." Guess what! I know when!!!! Tomorrow is when!!!
Is it tomorrow already? Who won the election?
BTW: excercise your right to vote. We are lucky to have this right!

Another one bites the dust!

Another day has passed and no referral. I really and truly thought a month ago that we would have our referral the last week of October with a worst case scenario the first week November. By Election Day for sure referral in hand. I feel like the sand is running out. One day left to meet my prediction. Fly, Stork. Fly! Better yet, hitch a ride on that jet to make sure you are here by tomorrow!!

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Nihao!

I am an early riser. Seriously, I am up most days around 4:30-5:00. I am a bit of a gym rat at those hours. But this daylight savings time has also messed with my internal clock. So here I am blogging at a ridiculous hour (I have been up for the last two hours). Not to mention that I was excited to see Kavanna and Malia as today is their "Gotcha", "Metcha", "Family Day" (or whatever term you would like to use). Oh and I guess I should mention this should be our week! In case you haven't read every previous post I have written.....sometime this week should be our referral day! Fingers crossed that we will hear something on Monday!!!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Update:

No news is.....well it just stinks! I did hear from my agency today. I thought it was nice that they contacted us (all Feb 17th ers) to say that matching is still going on and they will contact us Monday once they have heard from their Beijing office. One more weekend...to survive!

Friday, October 31, 2008

The trick's on me!

Happy Halloween........
No referral yesterday. I would love to see one today, but I am feeling very doubtful that they will arrive. Guaranteeing that next week will bring our referral!!! Okay, maybe not guaranteeing....how about strongly hopeful???

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I can predict that.....

....referrals will be arriving today because my dear, sweet husband will be sailing all day. That means the perfect plan of him coming to my office and picking up our beautiful girls on the way so when can all be together when we first see Flora's face are not gonna happen! Translation referrals will arrive today.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Thoughts as we near referral

As I was taking a little R&R at the gym this am, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Flora has a birth mother. I know that over the last few years (during the wait) I have thought about the reality of China, abandonment, and adoption. But it was different this time.

She has a Mom. She has a Mom who will never know her. This woman has given my family the most amazing gift EVER, and she will never know. She has no idea what has happened or will happen to her daughter. I, in the next few weeks, will know everything about Flora. Without even meeting Flora, I will know more about her life than her birth mother ever will. How sad is that?

Did her Mom wiling give her up, or was it difficult? I have had both points of view. The first, in China, especially rural China, girls are not as valued as boys. So are they truly disposable? Does the birth Mom attach to her child while she is pregnant? Or does she disassociate from the pregnancy knowing that there is a 50/50 chance she will not be keeping her baby? Or is the scenario more like the paternal grandmother taking the daughter away from the birth Mom and putting her in the finding spot?

I may never know the answers to those questions. But there is a woman out there, who I want to hug and share in the joy that her daughter is about to bring to our family. I want to tell her that we will love her daughter forever. We will hold her daughter tight. We will protect her daughter. We will watch her soul grow. We will be the best parents to her that we possibly can be. I want to tell her that her daughter will have older sisters, who have been dying to have her daughter join our family. There are so many more things I want to tell her.

We love Flora already and we haven't even met her. And you, birth mom, may love her and will never know her. Wow. Thank you and I am sorry for your pain. One day I would love to tell you all these things, perhaps I will get my opportunity. Until then, thank you, I love you, too.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Matching has Begun!!!

That means that someone in China is about to or just has matched an unsuspecting Flora with a family who is already in love with her.
I want that JOB!!!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Dreams and Thoughts

I have not had any of those "dreams" that waiting parents often have. I have not seen Flora's face in my dreams. I have seen her face in every child that has come before her. When I think of her, I see the basics: dark eyes, short dark hair,and about 12-15 months old. I predict that she is in Jiangxi. Beyond that I am clueless.
A friend of mine, who also has a daughter born in China, told me yesterday that she had a dream and saw Flora. She said that Flora was beautiful and had short dark, wiry hair, and I was carrying Flora in a front carrier. Sounds good to me!

Monday, October 20, 2008

What a difference a day makes!

Six days ago was my surgery. I have to say I feel SO MUCH better today. I am 90%. I am so flipping thrilled. I just never thought I would be normal again! Thank you for your many well wishes. Pity the person who has to have this surgery, even if just for a week. 8;-)

So this morning I have been pouring over my lists once again. I feel like the song, A Girl of 100 Lists, by the go-go's. Anyone remember that song? I just dated myself! Back to my lists.....
-I have lists of peeps we will travel with (some are part of the yahoo group I started. I wish I could find them all).
-I have lists of things to bring and things to leave at home. -I have lists of restaurants, sightseeing, and shopping.
-I have lists of various provinces and things to do there. I guess I can delete all but the important one in a week or so.
-I have lists of menus of restaurants in China
-I have lists of questions to ask the caregivers
-I have BTDT things to do and things not to do
-I have lists of tidbits of info (like where exactly the Starbucks is in the Forbidden City, so I can replace Miss Tiff's cup/mug.)
-I have lists of FAQ's
My, My, I have a lot of lists. Lucky for me, because when I see that amazing little face......I am going to loose my freaking mind!
Until then, I have my lists!

Friday, October 17, 2008

How embarrassing...

Okay, so my surgery was a hemorrhoidectomy. There I said it. Could it possibly be any more embarrassing??? But I feel that I will lead the charge on making it less embarrassing and removing the stigma!
Okay, so according to my doctor, MD that is, most people have this issue. However, the embarrassment/denial factor deters people from seeking medical help. Well, I try to be pretty forthright, but still this has given me pause. I knew I suffered from them pre pregnancy.....thanks Dad. I believe I was lucky enough to acquire them from my father (he had them, too). Then pregnancy exacerbated them. I decided to have those babies removed before Flora arrived or put it off another 10 years.
I went to the surgeon to discuss having him remove both the rhoids and two cysts. One cyst I have had on my forearm since I was 20 and the other was on my rib cage. The surgeon said that the first cyst was on a tendon and he wouldn't touch it. The second cyst was on my rib cage and a scar there would give me more trouble than the cyst ever would. So there went my cover surgery out the window! So I had to fess up!
I have to say that I was most concerned about the recovery portion of this surgery. When I saw a few of the 16th referred and I thought I might possibly be in that batch, I was about to cancel my surgery. But as things panned out and a few lucky peeps received a surprise referral, I hung in for the long haul.
This recovery is awful. Although I am feeling better overall everyday, there are periods when I think I have slipped back to day 1. I had planned to take Monday off for surgery and Tuesday off for recovery. Wednesday was up in the air. On Wednesday at 11:00 I decided there was no way I would make it back to work this week. I am now concerned that I may not make it back by Monday or Tuesday. I keep thinking that it is a practice run for China.....
To end, I am still not at a place where I could recommend this surgery. Everyday is sheer pain. The secret is keeping your plumbing in order and warm sitz baths. I will let you know in a while if it was worth it. I am just not at that place now.
Couldn't I have found something else to occupy my time at the home stretch???????

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

R and R......doctor style

Okay, so I had a bit of minor surgery yesterday. It was quick and almost painless, thus far. I have been computer bound since the doctor sent me to bed for lots of rest and some relaxation.

Man, let me just say how pleasant a surgical experience can be. I was sent to the ambulatory surgical center. They gave me a tracking number for Joe to track me. Everyone was so nice and pleasant, really. The funniest thing is the nurse had (and I kid you not) the hand held laser-ringer-upper-thing. You know when you go to any store and they use the price gun. That is what she had. She rang me up, bar code on my bracelet. I guess that would update my tracker number on the big screen tv for hubby to watch. She rang up my meds, IV, bandages, etc. I made some snarky comment (so typical for me) about throwing in a little something for herself.

In the end, my surgery was a success, and I should be 100% by travel time. I did freak for a few moments as some of the 16th was referred, thinking that we may have been included. I would have had to postpone the surgery until AFTER travel.

Now you are probably wondering what type of surgery I had. It is one of those surgeries that is a bit embarrassing. In the end, I have met MANY people that need it, but don't want to admit it and are too embarrassed to go to a doc about it. I am paper pregnant.......I apparently have taken that too seriously!

So I have given many clues throughout this post regarding what type of surgery I had. Suffice it to say, that I do not want to be the butt of anyone's jokes! Ah, who am I kidding, I love a good joke, even with me as the butt!

Feel free to make you guesses in the comments section!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Check out Ellie...

Shannon received her referral for Ellie. Click here to see cute Ellie. I am hoping one day for Flora and Ellie to have a playdate. Congrats Shannon!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

And so it shifts....

When we started this journey many, many moons ago the question was what month would we receive our referral. And now the question is when this month will we receive our referral. Will it be the end of this month or the beginning of next month? I believe that we will see referrals arrive the week of October 27th.
I spoke with my agency yesterday. And our referral gal firmly believes that
1. We will see referrals the first week of November.
2. We will travel over Christmas.
Although I do like my agency, I am not in agreement with either of these two statements. As I said earlier, I believe that referrals will arrive a week earlier than she believes. I also think that we may travel before the holiday or return right on Christmas Day.
I suppose that I am still optimistic through this entire process, and as someone in her position, I would certainly err on the side of caution. It is better to have clients pleasantly surprised than totally devastated!
Did someone say those of us on the verge of referrals are super emotional right now????? Well, that person would be correct!

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Our USCIS R-O-C-K-S!!!!

I am doing back flips right now! We received our I 171H today! TODAY!! I mailed our third and final request out last Saturday. I ran to the post office at 4:00 last Saturday to get it in the mail, in case we received our referral on Monday. I can not believe that a week went by and I already have it in hand.....amazing! Yipeeee!!!! USCIS ROCKS!

Dog, Pig, or Rat?

Will Flora be a dog, pig, or rat??? I am a dog. E is a pig. J is a sheep. C is an ox. I wonder many things about Flora. What month was she born? What provence is she from? What is she doing now? Is she comfortable? Is she fed? Is she loved? What are you doing, Flora?
R says my posts are more frequent. I agree. She also says the tone has changed. Well, I certainly hope so! This wait has been long, cruel, tiring, and emotional.

Homestretch here we come........ What do you think? Dog (born in 2006).....Pig (born in 2007)..... or Rat (born in 2008)

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

What a day!

After finding out on Monday that we weren't in....I rebounded a little stunned and confused. Then came yesterday. It was the best day I have had in a long time. For starters, I had the day off from school, Rosh Hashannah! Then, I checked my email bright and early. I received an email from R and T notifying me of my new blog makeover! Doesn't it look amazing? I love the green "paper." Do you know what that rectangle at the top of the page is for? It currently reads "coming soon!" It is for my referral picture. My sweet little Flora will be making her appearance soon. So after that lovely surprise, I trotted off to the gym for a 3 hour workout! It was fantastic. I am still feeling it this morning. Then I came home caught up on emails/RQ/ forum business while watching Martian Boy. I missed the beginning, but I enjoyed the movie. Moving on, I started my nesting. I have decided to make some serious changes to my bedroom prior to Flora's arrival, including painting and redecorating! Boy do I have big plans! But I got underway yesterday. I also cooked for my family. I love to do that. Tuesday is usually rush night where someone yells, "welcome to Moe's." But with the day off dinner was served at 5:45! Wha Hoo......I love being productive! What a fabulous day!!!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Drat!

Although I am not thrilled about pushing this referral back a month, I am excited about October. I love the month of October. i love the weather! I love Halloween! I love that we start ramping up for the holidays. I love the weather here. I also notoriously nest in October. I already have a plan to keep me occupied on the weekends. Hubby isn't quite on board. He'll come around and see it my way....he always does. He is such a great guy! Here's to a fantastic October!

Monday, September 29, 2008

We heard that.....

we did not make the cut-off for this batch of referrals. However, we also heard that the cut-off was 15 Feb. That means we are two days away from our referral. Even the worst batch ever was 2 days! We are so *in* for the next batch.
When will they arrive? Who knows. I did a little bit of arithmatic. I would "guess" that the soonest we could begin to see our referral would be Friday, October 24th and the the latest could be Thursday, November 6th. I love the month of October...I may learn to love it more with the anticipation of seeing my daughter's face in October!
next, Next, NExt, NEXt, NEXT!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow......
We find out tomorrow one of two things:
Our daughter's face, birthdate, and birthplace
OR
That we have to wait until next month to find out our daughter's face, birthdate, and birthplace
So exciting







Saturday, September 27, 2008

What's new Pussycat?

I must first make my disclaimers:
1. What I am about to share with you can not be shared with anyone else. It is a secret between the two of us...shhhh....my agency may get upset. Okay? So keep this a secret!
2. Over Analyzer Alert!

Now, for the news. My agency sent me an email on Friday. They told me that there are two, yes TWO, packages en route to the grand ole USA from China. Now my agency says that they receive packages all the time from China, however, there is a possibility that referrals may be in one of those TWO packages. Here is where the over analyzer alert must be inserted!
I know several key points here:
1. TA's have not arrived for the previous travel group (I am pretty sure about that). So one package may contain TA's ( I hope for my 2/6 friends).
2. We are the next referral group for our agency.
3. There are TWO packages, which ups our chances of one of those packages being referrals!

Therefore, if referrals are in one of those two packages, we are 100% in for this month! So we wait for Monday 1:00......(our agency said they will call us, regardless)

Is it Monday yet????

Remember, it is our secret!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I would love to.....

tell you that I received an email from my agency saying hello to the Feb 17th families and how my nameless agency has just confirmed from their Beijing office that matching has most certainly started. However, my nameless agency is not currently aware of the cut-off date, nor when referrals will be sent. But if I were to tell you all of that I would have to kill you, seeing how our nameless agency has requested that we not divulge confidential information. So, I didn't receive that email.....sorry to arouse you!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

First Rumor is NOT good

Before I talk about the rumors, I must first address the terrible formula poisoning. I have read blurbs about the tainted formula. I cannot wrap my head around it. To spend too much time dwelling on it will make me crazy, simply because I cannot do a thing to change/help it. I know it has affected thousands of children in China. I am sure that our daughters and sons have ingested the toxins. I am sickened and outraged about these events. I am so angry I could scream, but that is not constructive. My heart goes out to all the children, to the ayi's, to the parents, and to the adoptive parents. Stay strong.
Now for the first, bad rumor. It appears that China will put out a small batch of referrals, one day. They want to get "a handle" on the tainted formula crisis, as well they should. I wish everyone good health......

OMG!

The RQ website is down.....how will I make it through the day?????
UPDATE: I found the "old" RQ website. It is a blog. Click here if you are in search of rumors about the referral cut-off!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

On Baby Watch

Many, many years ago when I was pregnant with the old one and the young one, I remember what the last two weeks was like. Everyone was on baby watch. Everyone was extra attentive. If I called someone, an immediate return phone call was made "to check to make sure I wasn't in labor."

Now the there is a definite difference between pregnancy and international adoption, aside from the obvious physical. When I was preggers, everyone knew my due date. With this international adoption thing, I feel like I have been making guesses about my due date and people just don't "get it."

I have three friends, who have been down this road before (you both know who you are-L,-R,-T). These women are on my baby watch. I feel a bit like EF Hutton, I call and they listen. Each one of them will call me back right away hoping that I have the "news" for them. You guys are cracking me up. I like calling them, just to see how quickly they respond, a bit The Boy Who Cried Wolf-ish. Seriously Ladies, thanks for being my baby watch, thanks for being there, and thanks for your unrelenting support during this arduous wait. It has meant so much to me! BTW, I'll call you later today..........

Monday, September 22, 2008

The latest redeux

Our lovely Spanish RQ has made contact with her mole, and she expects to hear something by the end of this week regarding the cut-off.
I keep telling myself that I am surprising not as excited as I thought I would be, however, my body language says something very different. I have for several years had bouts with insomnia. Twice over the last few days I have awoken in the wee early morning hours (and I get up at 4:20, so you know it is early) to have difficulty returning to sleep. I have injured fingers from hitting the refresh button every minute! I have been on the computer more than usual. All of these things lead up to perhaps I am more excited than I once believed.....

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Latest

Well, we are, as we have been for the last 3 years, in a holding pattern. I have to say, however, that this holding pattern feels very different from the holding pattern that previous 30 something months had brought. I will not be disappointed with referrals next month, even if I am NOT included. Wow! I can say that with such confidence and truth. If it will not happen in October, then November it is!!! (I don't know why I added December in the poll.)
I have read other blogs over the last few years. At one time, when I was full of excitement about being in logged in, I had nearly 20 blogs that I followed. Joe asked me this morning how I could read and follow other people's lives. I suppose it is because we have a bond and a mutual understanding with others waiting, and we revel in their referrals and excitement. Is it living vicariously through others? I suppose. In any event, thank you to all who have shared your thoughts, your lives, your depression, your elation, and more with me.
One more thing, in order to cope with the long and trying wait, I stopped counting months since LID and forgot about anniversaries (on the 17th of the month). So thanks to the people who did keep track: I think we are at 31 now and nearing the end!! Wha Hoo!!!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Poll Results

First, I must fess up that I logged on a new computer to check my very scientific poll, and I had to vote to view the results. I voted October (because I am hopeful). So the results, minus my October vote, at the time of this post are:
October-7 votes
November-8 votes
December-2 votes
So as you extrapolate from the raw data (trying to sound RQ here), it seems likely that November is the month, however, October is a distinct possibility. And who the hell put December???? Just kidding thanks for taking the time to vote.
So what I conclude is that I am not sure for either month......what??? As R says over and over, "the closer you get, you still don't know!!!"
I would expect to see referrals arrive September 30 or October 1. That is my prediction for "when."

Friday, September 12, 2008

Poll Time

What do ya'll think? When will that precious referral with that gorgeous face arrive? Remember that my LID is 2/17/06 and the CCAA has completed referrals through 2/9/06.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My Sunday......

Sunday I spent the day organizing and purging. I went into Flora's room, and although it appeared ready to the untrained eye, there were 6 rubbermaid boxes and a closet full of children's clothes that had to be "taken care of." I went through nearly all of the remaining clothes of the girls. I cleared 7, yes SEVEN trash bags full of kids clothes. Mostly sizes 5, 6, 6X, and 7. I gave them all to my friend. Who then passes them onto her friends, and so on. Flora's drawers are full and two boxes remain in the closet. One with two diaper bags, just to keep them dust free. And the other box is filled with the items we are taking to China. It feels so good to have "nested" a bit.
E and C also finished a project for Flora. Several years ago they purchased stuff to make a blanket for her. Well they started and completed it this weekend. It seems as the excitement is creeping back into our lives. The girls are getting more excited as J and I are too. See, R., I am not so pessimistic and glum. I think the emotionality of this wait has bothered me more than anything else ever, in terms of emotion. I guess it will be all that sweeter when she is finally here!

Monday, September 08, 2008

One is all you get!

So I log on to RQ this afternoon. Wow we are so close....I was amazed. There I am little ole me right under the horrid case. Well then she writes, if this next batch is decent sized, then I will conduct another poll. What? What? I only got to participate in ONE poll? Are you kidding me? Wow! Okay, I guess I'll take my referral and move on.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Holy Crap!

I can't believe that I woke up this morning to a rumor that said the 9th of February is the cut-off!!! I am shocked! Amazed! Unbelievable! I had the two sided thing going on. On one hand, I wanted to believe that the CCAA would make it to the 16th of February! That would give us one month to get organized....and we would know that we were definitely in for October. On the other hand, I was wondering if we would even get referrals for September. I thought the CCAA would throw us the bone of February 1st-5th (ala dates forward with no referrals). I can't believe that this might be true. The only thing that "worries" me is several agencies on Friday reported that matching had not even begun yet.....Here are my guesses for a referral month: there is an outside chance for October, a very strong chance for November, and an even more of an outside chance for December. I laugh because I have been guessing all along, and so far, I have been wrong every time. Now that we are closer, I have to be right at some point!! So all this waiting and we are almost there......again Holy Crap!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

And we are into February....

Just when you are thinking of fall, leaves, football, pumpkins, and Halloween I am talking about FEBRUARY? That's right. The next batch of referrals should reflect the beginning of referrals from February (06). The first five days of February there were no dossiers logged in. So the first day we should see is February 6th. I am hoping that they will get all the way to February 16th. Then next month, October, I know with a February 17th LID I am in and I am prepared for it!!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

I am back

OMG. I am so emotional about this wait. I can not handle so much of the up and downs this crazy journey brings. I realized that I do not have the iron stomach that I thought I had.
It sucks! It sucks! It sucks!
Still waiting, not happily, not joyfully, not patiently, just waiting.........

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I let it slip away...

Our 20 something anniversary came and went. I forgot about it for the most part (as I have many of our past anniversaries), until many of my travel mates were posting. I read somebody's blog several months ago (maybe a year ago) who stopped counting and it did her a lot of good. I tried it too. It was hard the first month on the seventeenth I remembered everything. Same with the second month. Then I got to the point where I remembered the date, (the 17th) but not the calculation of time, i.e. 20 months). Now the seventeenth slips away as a regular day. But now as I find us closer to our referral date, I am noticing once again. Still not too excited, but getting there.
My friend R. says the closer you are to your referral, you still don't know your date. Are we 2 months out? Are we 4 months out? Are we 6 months out? (if we are six months out, shoot me N-O-W!)
On the positive side, it appears that the Olympics are not going to be interfering with the referral process per my agency and what seems to be happening with travel approval. I know of someone who will be China bound on 15 AUG. Good news. Although, my belief has always been that referrals will be effected in the September batch of referrals, not so much August. We will have to wait and see.
And finally to Nina, Alyson & Ford, and Dave(people I follow).......fingers crossed! You will be next! I a pulling for you!!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

My house, the pig sty!

I swear my house is as dirty as it can possibly be. We are infested with bugs! We are so disgusting that we have attracted bugs to our bodies. Yes all of the people in my house with a double X chromosome have LICE!!!! LICE!!! In case you did not read correctly I wrote.....L-I-C-E!!!! EEEWWWwwwwwwwww..............GGGrrroooossssssss.

Yep that is how I feel about it. Basically, on E's 13th birthday, she had a sleep over. I happen to be hugging 9:00 pm after singing Happy Birthday to the older one. I looked at C's hair and she was infested with lice. I saw hundreds of eggs. I had not noticed her scratching at all. So after a quick once over to check all of the party guests (only one had it) and the birthday girl (she had it) and me (I had it), my lovely and thankfully bald husband went the drug store to purchase nix to apply to the "dirty girls!" We stayed up until 11:30 that night combing hair. And we called all of the parents offering to return their "dirty" party girls to them. All declined. So the next morning, I combed again. I have since learned that a careful combing which should take a minimum of 2 hours per child should be done. On a side note, I already had lice once this year in May at school. Luckily, the children did not get it then.
Needles to say, E. will always remember her 13th birthday as the birthday she got lice, and I spent the evening combing our her best friends hair!
I have since spent a minimum of 5-6 hours a day combing. I did not realize that nit picking is a full time job!
I have acquired my PhD in LICE! I will type it again...eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww........ggrrooosssssssssssssss!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Happy Birthday, old one!

My older daughter, E, is officially a teenager. Today she is the big 13!!! Everyone says hold on teenage years. So far things have been great with her, me and us! I know that things may change, but I try to remember what it was like to be that age when I talk to her! So far it has helped. She talks to me about many things, of course not everything. However, I would never expect her to talk to me about everything! That would undermine the experience of being an adolescent! She has a great head for making excellent choices and decisions. I am proud of her everyday! One question however......with adolescents does forgetfulness appear? She seems to forget so much. She has lost countless things this past year. She will inadverntently forget to do something I just asked her to do (and she is not being difficult). Nonetheless, I welcome the babysitting years!!!!!!! Bring 'em on!!!
HAPY BIRTHDAY, E!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

New Look!

I am the proud winner of a blog make over aka blake over! Miss Tiff ( aka June's mama) redid my blog. She a Miss R believe that my referral is coming soon!! I am glad someone has some optimism. I know I have been cynical for so long it is hard to turn off. Really I believe my month will be October! I love my new blake over...what do you think?

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The British Virgin Islands 2008

Okay let me say that this vacation (we did the same thing last year) is the best vacation!! We charter a sailboat. We sail the sailboat from one beautiful island to the next. It is an amazing vacation......did I say that already? Our two daughters, the two of us. No TV. No outside stuff. No plans. No commitments. No rushing. Just lounging. Just snorkeling. Just reading. Just sailing.

Last year when we went I had delusions of grandeur that our little Flora would travel with us this year. In January when we started planning this trip, we were hesitant. What if referrals come and what if we are supposed to be traveling? We threw caution to the wind and decided to go for it. One of the few examples of not putting our lives on hold for China. I am glad we did it!





Tagged?!

OK what does that mean? For what? After a few minutes of research I discovered what it means .....Go visit Nina and Ford and Alyson to see.....
My six word memoir is

Family, Love, Laughter, and Health, Serendipity!

Now, you folks are officially tagged:
Rebecca
Tiffany
Leslie
Kim
Shannon

As to the person who tagged me.....thank you. I liked this one!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Busy and on vacation

Yes, I am still around! Yes, we are still adopting! Yes, I have been on the greatest vacation, again! Yes, I have completed my fingerprints for the third, and FINAL time-no matter what! No, I have not updated my home study (getting ready to start that process). Spoke with my agency today. They predict (she was kind enough to pull out her crystal ball) and I predict an October referral date (unless that O thing gets in the way). Can you say Peking Duck instead of Turkey for Thanksgiving???

Friday, May 09, 2008

two months? really??

I would like to thank R who reminded me about this blog here. I haven't posted in two months. Wow so much has happened personally, and a snail's pace has happened at the CCAA. I am so disillusioned by the showing at the CCAA lately. I can not bring myself to post. Thanks R for the reminder.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Still Waiting

Not dead! Still in limbo! Still waiting. We have decided to hedge our bets and schedule a vacation. We are going to visit the BVI again this year. Our family is so excited..... 10 days, sailing, snorkeling, living......Our lives have been in limbo for years. When will that referral arrive? It certainly hasn't arrived yet an we have held off doing somethings. Well no more. This carefree, piss into the wind attitude will secure a June referral for sure.......just wait and see. As I shared with m RQ February forum friends I am taking one for the team in order to secure a June referral for us all. Actually, I see more of an August referral with an October/November travel time. But we shall see.
I have noticed that although there is still a huge gap between potential referral dates June-December, I see a smaller window forming with a likely referral date. I still believe that even a month or two from our actual referral, the numbers will reveal a three month window of likely dates. I would not be disappointed with a cut off date of February 15 or 16. Even though our LID is February 17, that would mean that we were definitely next. That is a good position to be in these days with the CCAA.
It.will.happen.this.year.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Two Years

That's right! It has been two years since we were logged in at the CCAA in China. We would have never thought for a second that we would be waiting 2.5 years at a minimum. When I think about how quickly this wait is growing, it is mind boggling. L waited 18 months (logged in Oct 05). She received her referral in April. R waited 21 months (logged in Nov 05). She received her referral in August. My wait is already three months longer than R's and I fully expect another 8 month wait. It is sad, disheartening, and painful to watch people wait for their children.
So, happy 2 year anniversary to us!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Referrals are here

Please go check out Zoe! She is gorgeous. I hope they make there for Zoe's first birthday!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Referrals? Maybe, maybe not?!?

There are rumors out there that referrals are on their way, and the cut off is December 27, 2005. Now that is great news as Zoe's mom will be getting her referral (see the blogs listed). It is also great news because in my heart I did not believe that referrals would get past the 20th (i.e one day's worth of referrals). So I am pleasantly surprised! What does that mean for us? Good question! As soon as I have that answer, I will let you know. R told me, when she was awaiting her Nov 17, 2005 referral, the closer you get, you still don't know. She was right. Although we are less than two months away, we have no idea when our number will be up! It could be any where from April (totally unlikely) to December (on the outer range of timing). Have I mentioned the Olympics? What kind of twist is that going to throw into this mix??? We will have to wait and see.

On another note, any and all adoption folk know of the weather devastation happening in China right now. Half the Sky is an organization collecting money to help the orphanages. I am sick because our daughters and sons, collectively, are without heat, food and water. Please donate to Half the Sky to help the children of the world. It is so devastating I can barely wrap my mind around the events there right now. Cold and hungry babies/children are simply horrific.

Friday, January 25, 2008

So much to say, so much to say...

Let's see so much has been happening lately. I feel like I am back on the boards visiting my few favorite blogs. We applied for yet another SN child, because the first three weren't enough. A boy. Darling C. got braces. I, too, got braces. I have some lovely eye disorder that will never be written on a HS. It really isn't a big deal, nothing that therapy and glasses won't cure. Slow my roll...did I mention boy??? Well, yes we requested a girl, officially. Yet our agency posted this list of SN kiddos, and there was the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. Catch is we are family #2. The number ones have his file now and if they say no way, Jose, we are next in line. Boy? BOY? B-O-Y? OMG, I have more fri@@in' pink stuff, either left over or new than I know what to do with. Can you say ebay and shopping spree? Well, honestly chances are slim at best. Family #1 applied for him. They are now reviewing. He will go to the family that is meant to be. Them? Us? Some dark horse? So we wait some more. I am at peace with this whole deal SN, the wait, the whole process. Life is good. I am glad to be here, and our child will be here someday. You caught me at a post chocolate, post Merlot moment. Peace!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Happy Anniversary times TWO....
The 17th of January was our 23 month anniversary for our LID. Then, the 18th of January was our 16th wedding anniversary. The first anniversary slipped by on my radar, as I try not to focus too much energy on the time waiting. The wedding anniversary was a divine meal out with my dear hubby. Of course, our quiet meal brought good conversation. Thoughts of when our daughter will join us certainly did fill a few moments of conversation, however, we once again affirmed our commitment to our daughter and to this process.
I am at peace with everything. Peace is a good place to be. I do check RQ hourly waiting to see any movement of any news/rumors. I am excited, for one of my fellow bloggers is next! yipee! But the next referral batch also gives me a glimpse of when the window might be for our referral. As we get closer that window will start to close. I would anticipate an April (total long shot) to a December (probably on the outer realm) window for a referral.
My heart goes out to all of you waiting. The not knowing seems to be the hardest. I feel for those beyond a February 28, 2006 referral. That wait will grow exponentially. What I keep holding onto is that these are smaller months (December is almost over, January and February are smaller). The CCAA should finish February 2006 in 2009.
So happy anniversary to me. Sixteen years...holy crap, I am old!
Peace to all.....

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Friday and a Make-Over

Thought I would lend a new look to the blog. Blogger makes it so easy, even if you aren't too techie.....
The photograph is from our trip last year to the British Virgin Islands. We are hoping to go again, especially with this ever increasing wait. Those are the children of our friends and their Cat boat in the distance. It was the most amazing vacation ever and I hope to repeat it!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

So I am back on track.....

Alright after a bit of a break, I think I am back on track. A few postings on the RQ forum, I am feeling better and more thoughtful about the adoption process. Yes, I am anxious to have our daughter join us, but truly she is a gift from China. And quite honestly, China will decide when we she will join our family officially. Yes, I am still impatient. But we are lucky to have her, and I will wait for her until she comes!
Having said all that, I have returned to reading some of my select few fellow bloggies. I got this from Nina. Thanks Nina! you are right. It is on the money!

Your Inner Color is Purple

Your Personality: You're a dreamer and visionary. You believe you were put on this earth to do something great.

You in Love: You're very passionate but often too busy for love. You need a partner who sees your vision and adopts it as their own.

Your Career: You need a job that helps you make a difference. You have a bright future as a guru, politician, teacher, or musician.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Am I off....or what?

With the Spanish RQ predicting a cut off date of Dec 19, 2005, I am way off with my predictions. Guess that is why I didn't continue with the Stats courses in College. I really never believed that December was going to take more than 3-4 months to get through. It looks like close to 5 months to get through the smaller month of December. I am so tired, but still hanging in there.
Hope your Christmas was bright. I had a nice one with my girls and hubby!
May 2008 bring you peace, love, happiness, and health. It will bring us another year of waiting. I am thinking that the Olympics will not even effect our adoption, because we will not be there until next year! Here's to 2009!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Ostrich

Head in the sand.....no way.....not coming out..........the wait is wearing me down......la,la,la,la,la,la.......I can't hear you! When wlll that referral come......April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November???? Wake me when it is over!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Wow! the guilt...

Do I feel guilty for not writing...not so much. I am just treading water these days. In a holding pattern waiting for the call. I am, however, wrestling with the guilt or better yet sadness of turning down a SN referral. We, as a result of the ever lengthening wait, have put an application in with our agency for a SN child. I carefully listed all of our strengths as a family and individually. We got a call based on our "strengths". When I put in the application for a SN child, I had something in my mind. A single SN in my mind. When we got the call, this darling little girl had two SN. So, after much family discussion, we decided that she needed more than we could give as a family. So the sadness comes from having that photo in my hand, having the ability to change her life, having the ability of getting my daughter now, having the ability to parent this beautiful little soul.

Friday, September 21, 2007

My crystal ball...

I have consulted and re consulted my crystal ball. It hasn't answered me until today. Today I went back to that referral calculator website. I plugged in all of my guesses/predictions for our referral. I came up with a date and date that appeared TWICE with two different sets of data. My referral date is drum roll please.....April 30th. On that day I will see my daughter's face for the first time! I needed to consulted the crystal ball, I did, and I now have a date!
APRIL 30, 2008!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

19 Months

Oh how did I miss our 19 month LID anniversary?
I know because:

1. Time is ticking by without a referral, so I lost track of time and LID!
2. My friend, Rebecca is in China now getting her absolutely gorgeous baby, MeiLin. I have been following her blog hourly. Go see it!
3. Her friend Tiffany is there as well. Things did not go as well for her until yesterday (pics on R's blog).
4. Working
5. Having my house painted (inside). Yay!

I am still thinking that this adoption thing WILL happen in Mar, Apr, May, June timeframe!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Remember This Entry?

ODDS: Likely, Hopefully, Dreaming
Sept: 24 Nov, 29 Nov, Finish Nov
Oct: 4 Dec, 9 Dec, 10 Dec
Nov: 8 Dec, 21 Dec, 20 Dec
Dec: 15 Dec, 5 Jan, 31 Dec
Jan: 26 Dec, 13 Jan, 15 Jan
Feb: 6 Jan, 24 Jan?, 31 Jan
Mar: 13 Jan, 4 Feb?, 15 Feb
Apr: 21 Jan?, 15 Feb?, 29 Feb
May: 29 Jan?, 26 Feb?, 7 Mar
Jun: 6 Feb?, 8 Mar?, 14 Mar
Jul: 16 Feb?, 19 Mar?, 21 Mar
Aug: 24 Mar?, 30 Mar?, 28 Mar


Congrats to all the families who will be seeing their children's faces for the first time. Referrals are in and they are through the 25th of November.

Believe it or not, I am pleased that the CCAA got through the 25th. Surprised and pleased. We are getting closer!

Friday, August 17, 2007

18 months

WOW! Holy cow! It has been 18 months today since we were LID! That is two pregnancies....unbelievable! We are 18 months closer. To those of you who are logged in around our time, we're closer,hang in there. Congrats on your major anniversaries.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Scroll down to the August 10 entry.

I wrote a draft that I can not move up. So work those fingers and scroll down to view it.

A cool invention

Okay, check this out!

800 days

Eight hundred days ago, we started this process for our daughter. Eight hundred days have passed. We signed that contract on June 1, 2005. It took us until Jaunary 15, 2006 to gather our dossier. It amazes me, because my doctor took 13 weeks to write my medical report. That put us behind what we thought was 3 months. It turns out now to be more like a year. Unbelievable! Well, no use crying over what's in the past. Just like Rafiki said (from the Lion King). It is in the past. Our daughter will be coming. I have seen it first hand with my friends. It really does happen. I am getting pangs of excitement thinking about what is our future. I firmly believe that we will be there by this time next year. I really believe that WORST CASE SCENARIO....we will be there for the Olympics.
Nonetheless, let's see how high that ticker gets by the time Flora is home. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? I am guessing 1108 days! Only 308 days left! We have passed the point of no return!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Diaper Bag Challenge

Ye ole' diaper bag.....One of my DTC January peers has started a cool little blog to keep us occupied. Packing lists challenge. First up the diaper bag challenge. What to put in the diaper bag for China. Let me start by saying I am a minimalist. The less the better. I am nearly always prepared, but at a minimalist level. For example, why would I carry nail clippers in my diaper bag? I can cut nails at home. If, IF there is a nail emergency....can you say Walgreens? Having said that here is my list.
First up: the Diaper Bag.

The changing pad is included with this bag.
Next, Diapers (4) and Wipes


Diaper ointment (I found that I didn't use it much, and it was heavy) So here is my solution.


Check out this web site for travel sized items. It is very cool!
Next, I keep one burp cloth for whatever. I found this fancy one at Target. It is part of the Amy Coe line.

A Bottle with many liners. My girls (and I) have always preferred the Playtex style (not the drop-ins, as I have found that they leak easily) bottles.

I love these scented dirty diaper bags. They are a MUST for China sans the holder.

A really cool blanket.

Shout Wipes for "accidents and spills."

Take and toss spoons that I won't toss, but if they are lost, I will not mind. A plastic knife and fork to cut-up food. I hear that they can be difficult to find as chopsticks are mainly used.



Oh, I forgot the cute bib. I am not so hot on disposable ones (not environmentally friendly you know).

I had purchased a thermos per all the recommendations. I have since decided against it and opted for this cool invention. It is lighter too.


Some things may be omitted or added, depending upon the age of our daughter. A younger child may warrent an extra outfit. An older child might warrant a sippy cup and/or child sized utensils.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

My Referral Calculations

So I spent hours....H-O-U-R-S trying to predict the future. I want to know when that referral is coming. We want to repeat the vacation of a lifetime, the BVI, on a sailboat. Ideally, we want Flora to join us. We feel that it would be a fantastic trip with her, especially being recently home. Bonding would be great as it would be uninterrupted family time together. But the question remains, do we book? or do we anticipate a summer referral/travel. So I spent Monday morning figuring it out. Here are my predictions which are similar to RQ and Dave's. I used RQ's numbers and I used both to see if my numbers were way off. They weren't. I used formulas and I used dreaming to calculate my referral date. Here they are.....


ODDS: Likely, Hopefully, Dreaming
Sept: 24 Nov, 29 Nov, Finish Nov
Oct: 4 Dec, 9 Dec, 10 Dec
Nov: 8 Dec, 21 Dec, 20 Dec
Dec: 15 Dec, 5 Jan, 31 Dec
Jan: 26 Dec, 13 Jan, 15 Jan
Feb: 6 Jan, 24 Jan?, 31 Jan
Mar: 13 Jan, 4 Feb?, 15 Feb
Apr: 21 Jan?, 15 Feb?, 29 Feb
May: 29 Jan?, 26 Feb?, 7 Mar
Jun: 6 Feb?, 8 Mar?, 14 Mar
Jul: 16 Feb?, 19 Mar?, 21 Mar
Aug: 24 Mar?, 30 Mar?, 28 Mar

Disclaimer: Anything with a ? denotes no actual number info, but more based on formula and past records. I also do not claim to "take over" the RQ prestigious position and Dave's accurate formulations. I just want to know when, WHEN, W-H-E-N!!!!!

Friday, August 03, 2007

Some of the most exciting referrals yet!

I am almost over the moon to say that R. and T. (her friend I have never met, but feel connected to regardless) got the call. The stork has landed. The referrals have arrived. Check out these two absolute cutie pies! http://www.ourjourneytomeilin.blogspot.com/ and http://www.ourjourneytogracie.blogspot.com/. These little ones are so lucky to have inherited such great families, but these families are even luckier to have been entrusted with the care, well-being, and love of these amazing girls, MeiLin and Gracie! Cheers!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

R.,RQ and Wren

I have not let this wait drag me down much lately. I am anxiously, ANXIOUSLY awaiting the referral for R. This is my last friend who is before me. I can't wait it should be anyday now!
The other preoccupation I have is figuring out about "when" our referral will arrive. I know you are thinking that, E., that is what you have been doing since 18 Feb 06. True, but it has changed. Now, as we are 13 (yes, 13) LID's from the top of our agency's LID list from reaching our goal. We are getting closer and therefore more accurate in our guesses. That is why I have been searching RQ's site for the guesstimate of our month of referral. I have also found this site http://www.curewitz.com/WrenSiteEstimates.htm which crunches numbers. According to this site, we are talking a May 08 referral. I have been checking out RQ's archives for her guess and I have yet to find it again. I will let you know what she says once I search more......it's alright, we have PLENTY of time!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

17 on the 17th

Seventeen months down and only (insert any large number here) months to go! Sarcasm... just something extra I provide! Honestly, my current answer, when asked when do I think we will get our referral, is one year. Time keeps ticking and I am not shortening that number, still one year.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Young One is 10 Today


Today my baby is 10. I can hardly believe that she is a decade old! She is hobbling around as she broke her right leg a week ago. It is amazing and not so debilitating as she can swim, yes I said SWIM in her cast. It is entirely waterproof. Her leg is wrapped in bubble wrap and then a fiberglass cast is put on her leg. It is a walking cast so no crutches. The only thing she can't do....the beach because of the sand. How did you spend your 10th birthday? Happy Birthday, sweetie darling!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Old One is 12 today


Happy Birthday to my oldest baby.....I can't believe she is that old!

Ollie, Ollie outs in free.......


Okay here is our newest addition. He is the absolute cutest EVER. Many non-dog fans say that he makes them want a dog! He looks like a lamb....Ollie is on the right. I think this breeder is the best I have ever worked with. Check out her babies at http://www.rainbowtoypoodles.com/.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Wow, have I lost interest!

For those of you who read this blog...maybe 2 or 3 people at this point, I want you to know that I have totally lost interest in posting here. Sure one fine day when referrals are on the IMMEDIATE horizon I will be back, just like Arnold. However, for the next year (which is the new and improved estimate when Flora will be here) you can expect very intermittent blogging.
But before I sign off today I want to bring you up to date on a few things....
1. Friend L had gotten her beautiful daughter Fin. Fin is much more delicious and gorgeous in person (truly). Check out her blog at http://mylittlebitosharkbait.blogspot.com/
2. Friend R had a hansom baby boy, who I might try to steal in the dark of the night as he is sweet, adorable, and just all around lovely. Check out her blog at http://www.ourjourneytomeilin.blogspot.com/
3. And Me? well, let just say that this wait is interminable! I have drifted back to that world of abstraction when it comes to Flora. She is so distant to me. So in the meantime I am getting a puppy! Crazy, I know. Ollie or Archie (we haven't decided yet should be next week). Stay tuned......

Friday, March 09, 2007

Phone rings, "This is your Wake up Call!"

Yesterday, as I was sitting at the local USCIS office waiting to be fingerprinted, I did some math. My math was not complex, but it was revealing. Our HS is dated mid January. Our state only allows a one year time frame on HS. Our agency allows a three month window for a paperwork deadline. So what math do you ask I calculated? If we don't receive our referral by October 2007 this adoption = another $600 for a HS update!!! When we started this journey, it never occurred to me to redo a HS once! And now I am looking at TWICE!!! By the way, did I mention that I believe my HS agency, which is different then my adoption agency, has done some "questionable" practices. I think I may switch agencies for my HS. I am looking into that now (thanks R for your help!).

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Out of Review and The Rollercoaster Ride

On Thursday, February 2, 2007 at 5:50 am, I got out of bed and checked the computer as I do every morning. Daily, I go through my e-mail and check the RQ. To my surprise the CCAA updated their website (which was a shock in itself, as there has been much speculation if they are/were going to continue updating their website). My computer popped up that Referrals had been made through October 13, 2005 AND Review Room reviews had been made through March 22, 2006. What a double bonus day. Yippee.
Now onto that rollercoaster, I have been on a downward ride lately. I want to talk about our adoption, but I don't want to be submersed in it (i.e. daily checking of blogs, contact, and so forth). So to all my blogger friends our there....I am sorry. Perhaps this review room coup will get be back up the hill on this rollercoaster.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Anniversaries Abound

Jan 18th- was our 15th wedding Anniversary
Jan 20th- was our 1 year Anniversary being DTC

Monday, January 08, 2007

A Little Bird Told Me...

A little bird dropped an e-mail in my box. The e-mail said.....we should hear shortly that the February LID's are out of review (the CCAA will be changing their website soon). Which means our dossier was in order, and the CCAA had no questions for us. Additionally, it means that we are good to go. We meet their criteria, and we have been approved to adopt! Hooray! Now, if we could move along with the whole matching process! My guess is that we will be in China sometime between August and November of this year.....but I thought that we would be there last October/November....in other words what the he!! do I know!

Monday, December 18, 2006

10 months down

Today marks our 10 month anniversary. Grunt and moan inserted here.
What I haven't written in my blog lately is that DH and I had a discussion a few weeks ago. We were reevaluating the adoption, should we stop? It is getting so long that do we want to be parents to a young one in our 40's? So, my DH said we will stop when he turns 42. So I asked, "What does that mean? If we are next on the referral list and your 42nd birthday arrives...are we going to stop?" His answer was "no." I explained that I would regret not doing this the REST of my life. Hence, we decided to pursue.

Well, I was telling my dearest daughters this info the other day as we were discussing the L-O-N-G wait for their sister. My older DD said, " You can't stop. Who will get OUR sister? She is supposed to be our sister! We want our sister."

If there were any doubts before, there certainly are none now. So the entire family is back on the train. The train once known as the Orient Express which has been renamed the Great China Slug....

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Ugg, Grunt...

The wait, the wait, the wait is getting harder!!
I haven't written lately because I feel like saying ugg and grunt. The other thing I find myself saying lately is...who the hell knows? This is of course preceded by, "so? any news?" I really do appreciate the interest people have. It is genuine. I wish I could give them some kind of answer. So for now, I will say ugg and grunt!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Yang

So I found something I want to share. I feel like one of my students searching for something for show and tell. Anything at all.....(ironically, we don't even do show and tell). But, I digress. So, on my MSN homepage I have the word of the day. The word of the day is yang. How fitting is that? Something in Chinese on my American homepage. Do you know what yang means? Well, I will tell you...yang means masculine element: in Chinese philosophy, the principle of light, heat, motivation, and masculinity that is the counterpart of yin and is thought to exist along with yin in all things. I always thought it was yinG and yang. Apparently, it is YIN and yang. Light, heat, motivation, and masculinity. I am walking away with motivation on this one. Motivation, motivation, MOTIVATION....I need to stay motivated to hang in there for this very long haul to China and Flora!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

What to write, what to share...

I have been avoiding you lately. Simply because I have nothing to share. I have nothing to tell you. I could run through my laundry list of what I have been doing lately.
1. Visited family for Thanksgiving. DH says no more driving at Thanksgiving next year (the traffic doubled our time). We shall see.
2. All my christmas shopping is complete. I have never been done this early. I like it!
3. No news on referrals or review room movement.....crap!

I keep trying to come up with something clever, something witty, something insightful to write.....and NADA!
I'll keep trying and get back to you.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The 9 Month Reflection

Nine months ago today, the CCAA held our dossier in their hands and said, "Yep, it's here! We are so thrilled that this family finally completed their dossier! We have been waiting for them." Apparently, the CCAA has said the exact same thing to another 20,000-40,000 families! The nine months seems like the worst milestone yet for me. I guess I keep thinking that in 9 months women get pregnant and give birth! The nine months has been the hardest one yet. However, my heart is in China. When deciding upon adoption, it was always China, even if it took 3 years.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

What are you thankful for?

As this wait seems interminable, I have to ask myself what am I thankful for with regards to the wait....?
1. I am thankful for the love and support of my husband and children. We like talking about the adoption, Flora (by name), the frustration with respect to the wait.
2. I am thankful for the community of people who read and leave comments on my blog.
3. I am thankful for the other blogs out there that get me thinking.
4. I am thankful for the time to try and prepare (in vain) for our daughter's arrival.
5. I am thankful for the RQ, albeit, I take her site with a grain of salt.
6. I am thankful that I can write big checks, really quickly as our year anniversary quickly approaches. (It is a skill that comes in handy).
7. What are you thankful for? Please leave a comment or if there are so many things write it on your blog with the link in the comment section. I love to hear what others are thinking....

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

People are Kind

My father used to tell me that I always overestimated people. I always saw the good in them. I don't necessarily think that is a bad trait. Recently, I have had so many people ask me when I am getting my baby. People actually remember we are adopting. Heck, it has been a year and a half with no movement essentially (in the eyes of acquaintances anyway). I just think that so many people have been so kind. I am thoroughly impressed with this kindness shown by so many people.
I did have a friend say to me that his mother feels that adoption should be eradicated. In fact, she wrote a book about it. I do love having discussions like this. His comments did not offend me, but rather made me think and rethink the whole adoption process. It is actually sad that a family can not keep a child for any reason. Wouldn't it be a better place if each child could stay with their birth family and had a wonderful upbringing? Oh, and every couple who has battled infertility...infertility became obsolete? On the flip side isn't it amazing that families with no biological connection are willing to love and rear a child or children? Wow, I think that says a lot about humanity.
So, I find people to be very kind. Thank you!

Friday, November 03, 2006

babies everywhere

As referrals burst through the door and blogs, it is fantastic to see all the little faces and the beautiful words of proud Moms and Dads. Go visit RQ as her latest entry lists all the blogs with many photos of adorable Chinese children who will soon join their forever families. http://chinaadopttalk.com/ Additionally, I want to add that while you were sleeping the CCAA updated their website. January has cleared the review room. That means in approximately 1 month, we will also clear the review room. No phone calls from GW asking us to "clarify" anything!!! One nailbiting month to go! It that a dim light I see?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Referrals are in flight

While you were sleeping, referrals were in flight and the CCAA updated their website. The CCAA made it through two days more than the rumor had stated. August 25, 2005 is the cutoff. Now, if I could hear a little something, something on the review room. Really, I am not trying to be greedy.

UPDATE:Our Homestudy, because I know you have been dying to know, is almost complete. DH needs a medical exam and paperwork and the SW needs to pay us a visit. Apparently, it is no big deal for the HS to expire. Then I ask the question....What is the point of a expiration date???

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The List

I am one of those people who will be happy to do something, as long as I can do it NOW. I can't wait or opps I'll forget. So this whole adoption thing has me all a dither with expiration dates.

Fingerprints-check good, until Feb 2007
I 171 H-check, good until April 2007
Home study-check, good until Halloween....ah crap!


Yes, with my focus on the dates of the fingerprints and I 171 H, I forgot my Home study, which is apparently necessary to get all the other stuff. Actually, I contacted my HS agency in April and the response was we'll contact you 6 weeks prior. I remembered last week. I jumped through hoops over the weekend to finish everything. In fact, it would all be done, BUT my DH's dear Doc is MIA and new Doc wants to "SEE" him, before she'll sign anything (never mind that he has been to the Doc 2 times for 2 physicals in 18 months, the first Doc, who did the original med forms went boutique and second Doc went MIA). Opps, was that the sound of my DH firing the new Doc. You Bet!!!
New Doc from MY PRACTICE says new Pt appt Monday, and Paperwork immediately! HS update delay 7 days, not too shabby.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Ah, the perks of the wait....

What I am finding is that with this ever extending wait (the glass is still half full), I am finding that I can validate any and every day with some quantification. For example, it is 500 days since process started, 8 month anniversary, or % of wait down based on some number I can no longer define. So, today my dear friends and family is 250 days since this roller coaster has started. It is amazing the higher the numbers, the more damn celebrations! Wha Hoo, do you hear me celebrating?

Journaling?!

I found this beautiful red leather journal months and months and months ago. I decided to start writing in it, per a conversation with a friend who adopted from China 5 years ago. She suggested that I write down my thoughts. So I did. I believe that I made 3 entries... then that beautiful red leather journal was stowed away for a long time. I vowed that I would blog, then copy into the journal. I finally finished that project this weekend. I copied all of my thoughts and remembered to hit a few anniversaries that I had missed in the blog. So now, if this blog disappears into cyberspace foreva' I got the written word! I hope that Flora understands my journey better one day. I certainly look forward to understanding and knowing her journey. In the very near future (I hope).

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Crap on a Cracker

I missed two, count them two, milestones!! I missed our 500th day since we signed our application with Great Wall committing to our agency and Chinese adoption. Five hundred days-Holy Moly! The other milestone I missed was the anniversary of our LID! Eight months and counting. Somewhere I came up with the number of our adoption taking 548 days. We are down 243 days. That translates to 44% under the bridge. Not even half way yet. Boy, I hope I am wrong about that 548 thing. I wonder where in the world I came up with that number! That means approximately 8 1/2 months to go! Still, I hope I am wrong about that number!
That glass, well for today anyway, is half full! And, that comment about committing 500 days ago, well that is just a drop in the bucket 'o' time compared to the lifetime we are committed to Flora!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Follow up to my N. rant.....

So my dear ole hubby read the previous post and he said....
"You should call N. CORPORATE and complain!"
I said, "I am too tired, it's over, it's done!"
He said, "No, you my get free stuff."
I said, "so what!"
He said, "then I'll call."
So I forwarded all of my e-mails etc.
He called corporate and they said....."we'll put you in touch with the local store."
He said. "that is who is NOT helping us here."
And corporate said, "sorry, hold your breath 'cause we'll call you back!!!
Hubby is blue in da face and still no ringy dingy...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Buh Bye..

I was reading this blog http://thenakedovary.typepad.com/ this morning. What annoys me? Well, I will tell ya what annoys me right this very minute...NORDSTROM!!! My favorite store in the world. I love shopping there, er used to! After 11 years I am calling this relationship quits. Yes, I received many gifts from them, but I gave way too much to that beast, who never cared.
I am sure that ya'll know N. prides themselves on customer service. Let me tell you what I haven't gotten lately from N. Many, many times I have been shunned by the "snobs" in the TBD department, here at my local store. I kinda got used to it. We had an understanding. They snub me, I purchase THEIR clothes in the Children's dept., giving those ladies the commission. And dear ole hubby says the Men's dept is bad too. Sales Associates on their cell phones, telling jokes, not acknowledging his presence. BTW, hubby is a big, bald guy. Difficult to miss.
As relationships wind down you put up with those kinds of things....UNTIL the whammy!!!!! My whammy was a fine sales assoc in the BP (shoe) dept. Her name is STACY. We exchanged pleasantries. She sold me a pair of shoes. They needed to be ordered. I had them sent to the house....ooppps there's a $5 charge. Well, I will be more than happy to come back here to N to pick them up, and possibly spend MORE money. What? You don't like that idea? I made you cancel a transaction? and RE ring it in? Is that a huff I hear? Please don't tell me that was another huff. Have I ruined your day by purchasing a $100.00 pair of shoes from you? Well, I am sorry. OMG, is that your A$$ walking away from me? Without uttering a word???? Well, this is my A$$ walking to customer service to complain about YOU!
The manager was kind, but not gushing. He promised that the BIG manager would call me, 10 to 12 days later, no ringy dingy. So I composed an e-mail. I think I used the words inadequate, slack, rude, disappointed. Guess who gets my e-mail....the slack manager who neglected to call me. oh, well. She responded to my e-mail, requested my phone number, and called a week later. I did not speak to her b/c I was busy at work. I called her back. She was not there. I left her a message. Six days later, still no ringy dingy. I am done. Not interested? Neither am I. Customer Service, my foot!!!
I no shoppy at N no more...........buh bye

Monday, October 09, 2006

Our local FCC group brought in Dr. Jane Liedtke for a 3 hour seminar. Dr. Jane started a foundation 10 years ago. Here is her website http://www.ocdf.org/ocdf/index.htm. She spoke about several topics including the return trip to China to visit the orphanage. She was entertaining and informative. She answered every question asked. Dr. Jane lives in China and has a 14 year old daughter whom she adopted when she was 17 months.
There was a crazy story told about a family who returned to the daughter's finding site, at the doorstep of the house. The woman wasn't there but, the neighbor was. She invited the family in and was quite a hostess. The neighbor woman did not return in time to "meet" the family. The family left only to return the next day to take another set of photographs because their camera had been stolen. In the meantime, the woman who found the daughter contacted the birth family (she knew who they were as they returned to collect their daughter years later). The birth family visited the finding woman's home to talk about the daughter the same day that the adopted family returned to take a second set of photographs. They families met. How amazing?
I always had in my mind that we would never meet the birth family. Of course that is most likely true, but the remote possibility of it happening threw me for a loop.

Alright now for her weigh in on the slow down issue. Her thoughts are the CCAA has officially taken over the responsibility of the 750 domestic only orphanages in addition to the 250 international orphanages. They simply do not have the help they need to process this magnitude of information. Apparently, Chinese workers DO NOT have universal skill sets that Americans have. Therefore, training lasts M-U-C-H longer than what we would consider a "training period."

One other piece of information for all of you awaiting referral people. You may request from the orphanage a copy of THEIR file on your daughter. It will contain documents other than what is contained in the CCAA and agency file. Perhaps a note, most likely the police report which has the most true information. ASK FOR IT WHILE YOU ARE THERE. If the director is less than thrilled to give it to you then ask what the special processing fee is.

I would recommend seeing Dr. Jane if you have the opportunity.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Friday, October 06, 2006

How about another recipe?

October comes and I "nest." It seems to happen every year. I want to bake and cook! So I'll share another recipe. One of my all time favorites!
Pumpkin LoavesIngredients:
· 2 c unsifted flour
· ½ teas salt
· ½ teas baking powder
· 1 teas baking soda
· 1 teas ground cloves
· 1 teas ground cinnamon
· 1 teas ground nutmeg
· 2 c sugar
· ¾ softened butter
· 2 eggs
· 1 can (1 lb) pumpkin

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease 4 small loaf pans
2. Mix dry ingredients-flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, spices.
3. In a large bowl at medium speed beat sugar and butter just until blended. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each one. Continue beating until light and fluffy. Beat in pumpkin at a lowspeed. Then, add the flour mixture to wet mixture.
4. Turn batter into pans, dividing evenly
5. Bake 1 hour (or until tested with a toothpick)
6. Let cool into pans about 10 minutes then turn out onto wire racks to cool completely.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

It is official

We are in the review room with the CCAA. yipeee, oh s$&@! Yippee, Oh S$@#!!! I am excited and nervous at the same time. Cross your fingers that all is well with the paperwork!! I know I am!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Assembling and Producing

In my oh so spare time, I have been assembling all of "the" family recipes, all of the newspaper recipes that have been turning yellow, and organizing the pages of multiple recipes. I know it is crazy, but I am finding great delight and great pride in this project. I have now organized 2 4inch ring binders of recipes that have been carefully sniped, categorized, and placed in plastic sheet protectors. I will share one of my newest additions that has proven to be a big hit at picnics and by friends.

Watermelon Salad

· 1 small red onion sliced into crescent shapes.
· Citric juice, 2-3 splashes of lemon or lime (I prefer lime)
· 3.5 lbs of cubed watermelon
· 9 oz. feta cheese, crumbled
· 1 bunch flat leaf parsley, chopped
· 1 small bunch of mint, chopped
· 3 Tablespoons of olive oil
· ½ to 1 cup Kalamata olives
· Black pepper to taste

Put cubed watermelon into a bowl.
Add onions, feta, olives, parsley, and mint.
Toss lightly using your fingers.
Drizzle olive oil, citric juice, and black pepper.
Toss again.

Serve immediately.

It is an awesome/easy recipe. Perhaps I will share more recipes. I love cooking and baking. Both bring me such joy and solace. I will say that having a long standing agreement with my hubby adds to my pleasure. If I cook, he cleans. If he cooks, I clean. If we both cook, we both clean. Great partnership after nearly 15 years of marriage. By the way, he is also a great cook. Let's just say we eat well.......Now days, the littler munchkin enjoys cooking. She'll tell you that she makes the BEST mashed potatoes. Although, she could use a little guidance from the potato queen, my mother.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

My Montessori Soapbox

I, being a Montessori teacher, found this amazing quote I wanted to share with my peeps..."Education should no longer be mostly imparting of knowledge, but must take a new path, seeking the release of human potential." Dr. Maria Montessori.

I would encourage any parent out there to look at your local Montessori school when considering a school for your children.

A few untruths about Montessori schools: we are NOT a cult, we are not all connected, we are NOT the program that allows children to do whatever they want when they want, we are not so strict that children can't so anything.

I always require my potential families to observe a class. That way you could get a feeling about the program and go from there.

I will now step down from my soap box, but I do believe in what I do and I believe that it works.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Yippee..

OK, so the rumors were all over the place regarding the arrival of today's referrals. The worst case scenario was July 28, 2005 and the best case scenario was mid August 2005, and the pipe dream was ALL of August. Well, the referrals came down in the middle of the worst and the best case scenarios. I would like to point out that it was more on the best case scenario side.
Congrats to all those mamas and papas who will fall in love with their new babies very, very soon.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Girl or Boy?

So, I was thinking the other day...our referral will it be a girl (as in what we requested) or a boy (as in S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E)...... Furthermore, I was perusing my usual gaggle of adoption blogs and she had an old Sesame Street video on her blog. I then killed lots of time by hunting for this clip on you tube. I remember this from when I was a wee little one. By the way, the boy's voice..is it Mel Brooks and the girl's voice..is it Marlo Thomas? What do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDGQgSGHGZ0

Monday, September 18, 2006

7 month anniversary

It is official! We have been LID for 7 months today! Only 39 months to go (that is by my calculator, working with the January referral in 2010 estimate). Wah hoo, we are one month closer than last month!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Something that makes me laugh....

I think that this video is h-y-s-t-e-r-i-c-a-l. Kinda makes me want to go out and purchase 8 treadmills and gather up 3 friends!


Update: OK, so I took away that thing that makes me laugh. It started to annoy me. I once heard those traits that you find so endearing eventually annoy the crap out of you!! This is one of those times!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

The wait???The Wait!!!!!

So many people have recently been asking me when my baby is coming. I think it might be because I have a baby on my hip everyday at school now. I committed to watching a teacher's daughter everyday for a few hours. She is a real joy. So, now all of the parents have been asking me when my little one is coming. I briefly considered dying this child's hair black, saying I went to China, and keeping her. Apparently, the mother wasn't too fond of this idea. I can't understand why not!
So, this one parent with whom I was speaking adopted a daughter from Kazistan. Do you know that she still reads blogs! She is hooked on Salsa in China. In fact, she was on vaca when the twins arrived and it was killing her because she was without a computer.
Then someone else asked me if having this 1 year old everyday was helpful or not. At first, I thought no way. It is NOT helpful. It makes me want my daughter more. This is true. Then, I thought absolutely. It is helpful. It reminds me that caring for a baby is like riding a bike. I apparently haven’t forgotten all of my skills (good thing too). Big picture here….caring for that baby everyday solidifies for me that I am glad that I am adopting. I am not too old. I do want and I am prepared for another child. It is a good thing because between now and the year 2010, I am going to be getting a daughter from China.