Anniversaries Abound

Jan 18th- was our 15th wedding Anniversary
Jan 20th- was our 1 year Anniversary being DTC

A Little Bird Told Me...

A little bird dropped an e-mail in my box. The e-mail said.....we should hear shortly that the February LID's are out of review (the CCAA will be changing their website soon). Which means our dossier was in order, and the CCAA had no questions for us. Additionally, it means that we are good to go. We meet their criteria, and we have been approved to adopt! Hooray! Now, if we could move along with the whole matching process! My guess is that we will be in China sometime between August and November of this year.....but I thought that we would be there last October/November....in other words what the he!! do I know!

10 months down

Today marks our 10 month anniversary. Grunt and moan inserted here.
What I haven't written in my blog lately is that DH and I had a discussion a few weeks ago. We were reevaluating the adoption, should we stop? It is getting so long that do we want to be parents to a young one in our 40's? So, my DH said we will stop when he turns 42. So I asked, "What does that mean? If we are next on the referral list and your 42nd birthday arrives...are we going to stop?" His answer was "no." I explained that I would regret not doing this the REST of my life. Hence, we decided to pursue.

Well, I was telling my dearest daughters this info the other day as we were discussing the L-O-N-G wait for their sister. My older DD said, " You can't stop. Who will get OUR sister? She is supposed to be our sister! We want our sister."

If there were any doubts before, there certainly are none now. So the entire family is back on the train. The train once known as the Orient Express which has been renamed the Great China Slug....

Ugg, Grunt...

The wait, the wait, the wait is getting harder!!
I haven't written lately because I feel like saying ugg and grunt. The other thing I find myself saying lately is...who the hell knows? This is of course preceded by, "so? any news?" I really do appreciate the interest people have. It is genuine. I wish I could give them some kind of answer. So for now, I will say ugg and grunt!

Yang

So I found something I want to share. I feel like one of my students searching for something for show and tell. Anything at all.....(ironically, we don't even do show and tell). But, I digress. So, on my MSN homepage I have the word of the day. The word of the day is yang. How fitting is that? Something in Chinese on my American homepage. Do you know what yang means? Well, I will tell you...yang means masculine element: in Chinese philosophy, the principle of light, heat, motivation, and masculinity that is the counterpart of yin and is thought to exist along with yin in all things. I always thought it was yinG and yang. Apparently, it is YIN and yang. Light, heat, motivation, and masculinity. I am walking away with motivation on this one. Motivation, motivation, MOTIVATION....I need to stay motivated to hang in there for this very long haul to China and Flora!

What to write, what to share...

I have been avoiding you lately. Simply because I have nothing to share. I have nothing to tell you. I could run through my laundry list of what I have been doing lately.
1. Visited family for Thanksgiving. DH says no more driving at Thanksgiving next year (the traffic doubled our time). We shall see.
2. All my christmas shopping is complete. I have never been done this early. I like it!
3. No news on referrals or review room movement.....crap!

I keep trying to come up with something clever, something witty, something insightful to write.....and NADA!
I'll keep trying and get back to you.

The 9 Month Reflection

Nine months ago today, the CCAA held our dossier in their hands and said, "Yep, it's here! We are so thrilled that this family finally completed their dossier! We have been waiting for them." Apparently, the CCAA has said the exact same thing to another 20,000-40,000 families! The nine months seems like the worst milestone yet for me. I guess I keep thinking that in 9 months women get pregnant and give birth! The nine months has been the hardest one yet. However, my heart is in China. When deciding upon adoption, it was always China, even if it took 3 years.

What are you thankful for?

As this wait seems interminable, I have to ask myself what am I thankful for with regards to the wait....?
1. I am thankful for the love and support of my husband and children. We like talking about the adoption, Flora (by name), the frustration with respect to the wait.
2. I am thankful for the community of people who read and leave comments on my blog.
3. I am thankful for the other blogs out there that get me thinking.
4. I am thankful for the time to try and prepare (in vain) for our daughter's arrival.
5. I am thankful for the RQ, albeit, I take her site with a grain of salt.
6. I am thankful that I can write big checks, really quickly as our year anniversary quickly approaches. (It is a skill that comes in handy).
7. What are you thankful for? Please leave a comment or if there are so many things write it on your blog with the link in the comment section. I love to hear what others are thinking....

People are Kind

My father used to tell me that I always overestimated people. I always saw the good in them. I don't necessarily think that is a bad trait. Recently, I have had so many people ask me when I am getting my baby. People actually remember we are adopting. Heck, it has been a year and a half with no movement essentially (in the eyes of acquaintances anyway). I just think that so many people have been so kind. I am thoroughly impressed with this kindness shown by so many people.
I did have a friend say to me that his mother feels that adoption should be eradicated. In fact, she wrote a book about it. I do love having discussions like this. His comments did not offend me, but rather made me think and rethink the whole adoption process. It is actually sad that a family can not keep a child for any reason. Wouldn't it be a better place if each child could stay with their birth family and had a wonderful upbringing? Oh, and every couple who has battled infertility...infertility became obsolete? On the flip side isn't it amazing that families with no biological connection are willing to love and rear a child or children? Wow, I think that says a lot about humanity.
So, I find people to be very kind. Thank you!

babies everywhere

As referrals burst through the door and blogs, it is fantastic to see all the little faces and the beautiful words of proud Moms and Dads. Go visit RQ as her latest entry lists all the blogs with many photos of adorable Chinese children who will soon join their forever families. http://chinaadopttalk.com/ Additionally, I want to add that while you were sleeping the CCAA updated their website. January has cleared the review room. That means in approximately 1 month, we will also clear the review room. No phone calls from GW asking us to "clarify" anything!!! One nailbiting month to go! It that a dim light I see?

Referrals are in flight

While you were sleeping, referrals were in flight and the CCAA updated their website. The CCAA made it through two days more than the rumor had stated. August 25, 2005 is the cutoff. Now, if I could hear a little something, something on the review room. Really, I am not trying to be greedy.

UPDATE:Our Homestudy, because I know you have been dying to know, is almost complete. DH needs a medical exam and paperwork and the SW needs to pay us a visit. Apparently, it is no big deal for the HS to expire. Then I ask the question....What is the point of a expiration date???

The List

I am one of those people who will be happy to do something, as long as I can do it NOW. I can't wait or opps I'll forget. So this whole adoption thing has me all a dither with expiration dates.

Fingerprints-check good, until Feb 2007
I 171 H-check, good until April 2007
Home study-check, good until Halloween....ah crap!

Yes, with my focus on the dates of the fingerprints and I 171 H, I forgot my Home study, which is apparently necessary to get all the other stuff. Actually, I contacted my HS agency in April and the response was we'll contact you 6 weeks prior. I remembered last week. I jumped through hoops over the weekend to finish everything. In fact, it would all be done, BUT my DH's dear Doc is MIA and new Doc wants to "SEE" him, before she'll sign anything (never mind that he has been to the Doc 2 times for 2 physicals in 18 months, the first Doc, who did the original med forms went boutique and second Doc went MIA). Opps, was that the sound of my DH firing the new Doc. You Bet!!!
New Doc from MY PRACTICE says new Pt appt Monday, and Paperwork immediately! HS update delay 7 days, not too shabby.

Ah, the perks of the wait....

What I am finding is that with this ever extending wait (the glass is still half full), I am finding that I can validate any and every day with some quantification. For example, it is 500 days since process started, 8 month anniversary, or % of wait down based on some number I can no longer define. So, today my dear friends and family is 250 days since this roller coaster has started. It is amazing the higher the numbers, the more damn celebrations! Wha Hoo, do you hear me celebrating?

Journaling?!

I found this beautiful red leather journal months and months and months ago. I decided to start writing in it, per a conversation with a friend who adopted from China 5 years ago. She suggested that I write down my thoughts. So I did. I believe that I made 3 entries... then that beautiful red leather journal was stowed away for a long time. I vowed that I would blog, then copy into the journal. I finally finished that project this weekend. I copied all of my thoughts and remembered to hit a few anniversaries that I had missed in the blog. So now, if this blog disappears into cyberspace foreva' I got the written word! I hope that Flora understands my journey better one day. I certainly look forward to understanding and knowing her journey. In the very near future (I hope).

Crap on a Cracker

I missed two, count them two, milestones!! I missed our 500th day since we signed our application with Great Wall committing to our agency and Chinese adoption. Five hundred days-Holy Moly! The other milestone I missed was the anniversary of our LID! Eight months and counting. Somewhere I came up with the number of our adoption taking 548 days. We are down 243 days. That translates to 44% under the bridge. Not even half way yet. Boy, I hope I am wrong about that 548 thing. I wonder where in the world I came up with that number! That means approximately 8 1/2 months to go! Still, I hope I am wrong about that number!
That glass, well for today anyway, is half full! And, that comment about committing 500 days ago, well that is just a drop in the bucket 'o' time compared to the lifetime we are committed to Flora!

Follow up to my N. rant.....

So my dear ole hubby read the previous post and he said....
"You should call N. CORPORATE and complain!"
I said, "I am too tired, it's over, it's done!"
He said, "No, you my get free stuff."
I said, "so what!"
He said, "then I'll call."
So I forwarded all of my e-mails etc.
He called corporate and they said....."we'll put you in touch with the local store."
He said. "that is who is NOT helping us here."
And corporate said, "sorry, hold your breath 'cause we'll call you back!!!
Hubby is blue in da face and still no ringy dingy...

Buh Bye..

I was reading this blog http://thenakedovary.typepad.com/ this morning. What annoys me? Well, I will tell ya what annoys me right this very minute...NORDSTROM!!! My favorite store in the world. I love shopping there, er used to! After 11 years I am calling this relationship quits. Yes, I received many gifts from them, but I gave way too much to that beast, who never cared.
I am sure that ya'll know N. prides themselves on customer service. Let me tell you what I haven't gotten lately from N. Many, many times I have been shunned by the "snobs" in the TBD department, here at my local store. I kinda got used to it. We had an understanding. They snub me, I purchase THEIR clothes in the Children's dept., giving those ladies the commission. And dear ole hubby says the Men's dept is bad too. Sales Associates on their cell phones, telling jokes, not acknowledging his presence. BTW, hubby is a big, bald guy. Difficult to miss.
As relationships wind down you put up with those kinds of things....UNTIL the whammy!!!!! My whammy was a fine sales assoc in the BP (shoe) dept. Her name is STACY. We exchanged pleasantries. She sold me a pair of shoes. They needed to be ordered. I had them sent to the house....ooppps there's a $5 charge. Well, I will be more than happy to come back here to N to pick them up, and possibly spend MORE money. What? You don't like that idea? I made you cancel a transaction? and RE ring it in? Is that a huff I hear? Please don't tell me that was another huff. Have I ruined your day by purchasing a $100.00 pair of shoes from you? Well, I am sorry. OMG, is that your A$$ walking away from me? Without uttering a word???? Well, this is my A$$ walking to customer service to complain about YOU!
The manager was kind, but not gushing. He promised that the BIG manager would call me, 10 to 12 days later, no ringy dingy. So I composed an e-mail. I think I used the words inadequate, slack, rude, disappointed. Guess who gets my e-mail....the slack manager who neglected to call me. oh, well. She responded to my e-mail, requested my phone number, and called a week later. I did not speak to her b/c I was busy at work. I called her back. She was not there. I left her a message. Six days later, still no ringy dingy. I am done. Not interested? Neither am I. Customer Service, my foot!!!
I no shoppy at N no more...........buh bye

Our local FCC group brought in Dr. Jane Liedtke for a 3 hour seminar. Dr. Jane started a foundation 10 years ago. Here is her website http://www.ocdf.org/ocdf/index.htm. She spoke about several topics including the return trip to China to visit the orphanage. She was entertaining and informative. She answered every question asked. Dr. Jane lives in China and has a 14 year old daughter whom she adopted when she was 17 months.
There was a crazy story told about a family who returned to the daughter's finding site, at the doorstep of the house. The woman wasn't there but, the neighbor was. She invited the family in and was quite a hostess. The neighbor woman did not return in time to "meet" the family. The family left only to return the next day to take another set of photographs because their camera had been stolen. In the meantime, the woman who found the daughter contacted the birth family (she knew who they were as they returned to collect their daughter years later). The birth family visited the finding woman's home to talk about the daughter the same day that the adopted family returned to take a second set of photographs. They families met. How amazing?
I always had in my mind that we would never meet the birth family. Of course that is most likely true, but the remote possibility of it happening threw me for a loop.

Alright now for her weigh in on the slow down issue. Her thoughts are the CCAA has officially taken over the responsibility of the 750 domestic only orphanages in addition to the 250 international orphanages. They simply do not have the help they need to process this magnitude of information. Apparently, Chinese workers DO NOT have universal skill sets that Americans have. Therefore, training lasts M-U-C-H longer than what we would consider a "training period."

One other piece of information for all of you awaiting referral people. You may request from the orphanage a copy of THEIR file on your daughter. It will contain documents other than what is contained in the CCAA and agency file. Perhaps a note, most likely the police report which has the most true information. ASK FOR IT WHILE YOU ARE THERE. If the director is less than thrilled to give it to you then ask what the special processing fee is.

I would recommend seeing Dr. Jane if you have the opportunity.

Hysterical...

Remember to laugh DAILY! Visit this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa_7P5AbUww

How about another recipe?

October comes and I "nest." It seems to happen every year. I want to bake and cook! So I'll share another recipe. One of my all time favorites!
Pumpkin LoavesIngredients:
· 2 c unsifted flour
· ½ teas salt
· ½ teas baking powder
· 1 teas baking soda
· 1 teas ground cloves
· 1 teas ground cinnamon
· 1 teas ground nutmeg
· 2 c sugar
· ¾ softened butter
· 2 eggs
· 1 can (1 lb) pumpkin

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease 4 small loaf pans
2. Mix dry ingredients-flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, spices.
3. In a large bowl at medium speed beat sugar and butter just until blended. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each one. Continue beating until light and fluffy. Beat in pumpkin at a lowspeed. Then, add the flour mixture to wet mixture.
4. Turn batter into pans, dividing evenly
5. Bake 1 hour (or until tested with a toothpick)
6. Let cool into pans about 10 minutes then turn out onto wire racks to cool completely.