Wow! the guilt...

Do I feel guilty for not writing...not so much. I am just treading water these days. In a holding pattern waiting for the call. I am, however, wrestling with the guilt or better yet sadness of turning down a SN referral. We, as a result of the ever lengthening wait, have put an application in with our agency for a SN child. I carefully listed all of our strengths as a family and individually. We got a call based on our "strengths". When I put in the application for a SN child, I had something in my mind. A single SN in my mind. When we got the call, this darling little girl had two SN. So, after much family discussion, we decided that she needed more than we could give as a family. So the sadness comes from having that photo in my hand, having the ability to change her life, having the ability of getting my daughter now, having the ability to parent this beautiful little soul.