The trick's on me!

Happy Halloween........
No referral yesterday. I would love to see one today, but I am feeling very doubtful that they will arrive. Guaranteeing that next week will bring our referral!!! Okay, maybe not guaranteeing....how about strongly hopeful???

I can predict that.....

....referrals will be arriving today because my dear, sweet husband will be sailing all day. That means the perfect plan of him coming to my office and picking up our beautiful girls on the way so when can all be together when we first see Flora's face are not gonna happen! Translation referrals will arrive today.

Thoughts as we near referral

As I was taking a little R&R at the gym this am, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Flora has a birth mother. I know that over the last few years (during the wait) I have thought about the reality of China, abandonment, and adoption. But it was different this time.

She has a Mom. She has a Mom who will never know her. This woman has given my family the most amazing gift EVER, and she will never know. She has no idea what has happened or will happen to her daughter. I, in the next few weeks, will know everything about Flora. Without even meeting Flora, I will know more about her life than her birth mother ever will. How sad is that?

Did her Mom wiling give her up, or was it difficult? I have had both points of view. The first, in China, especially rural China, girls are not as valued as boys. So are they truly disposable? Does the birth Mom attach to her child while she is pregnant? Or does she disassociate from the pregnancy knowing that there is a 50/50 chance she will not be keeping her baby? Or is the scenario more like the paternal grandmother taking the daughter away from the birth Mom and putting her in the finding spot?

I may never know the answers to those questions. But there is a woman out there, who I want to hug and share in the joy that her daughter is about to bring to our family. I want to tell her that we will love her daughter forever. We will hold her daughter tight. We will protect her daughter. We will watch her soul grow. We will be the best parents to her that we possibly can be. I want to tell her that her daughter will have older sisters, who have been dying to have her daughter join our family. There are so many more things I want to tell her.

We love Flora already and we haven't even met her. And you, birth mom, may love her and will never know her. Wow. Thank you and I am sorry for your pain. One day I would love to tell you all these things, perhaps I will get my opportunity. Until then, thank you, I love you, too.

Matching has Begun!!!

That means that someone in China is about to or just has matched an unsuspecting Flora with a family who is already in love with her.
I want that JOB!!!!

Dreams and Thoughts

I have not had any of those "dreams" that waiting parents often have. I have not seen Flora's face in my dreams. I have seen her face in every child that has come before her. When I think of her, I see the basics: dark eyes, short dark hair,and about 12-15 months old. I predict that she is in Jiangxi. Beyond that I am clueless.
A friend of mine, who also has a daughter born in China, told me yesterday that she had a dream and saw Flora. She said that Flora was beautiful and had short dark, wiry hair, and I was carrying Flora in a front carrier. Sounds good to me!

What a difference a day makes!

Six days ago was my surgery. I have to say I feel SO MUCH better today. I am 90%. I am so flipping thrilled. I just never thought I would be normal again! Thank you for your many well wishes. Pity the person who has to have this surgery, even if just for a week. 8;-)

So this morning I have been pouring over my lists once again. I feel like the song, A Girl of 100 Lists, by the go-go's. Anyone remember that song? I just dated myself! Back to my lists.....
-I have lists of peeps we will travel with (some are part of the yahoo group I started. I wish I could find them all).
-I have lists of things to bring and things to leave at home. -I have lists of restaurants, sightseeing, and shopping.
-I have lists of various provinces and things to do there. I guess I can delete all but the important one in a week or so.
-I have lists of menus of restaurants in China
-I have lists of questions to ask the caregivers
-I have BTDT things to do and things not to do
-I have lists of tidbits of info (like where exactly the Starbucks is in the Forbidden City, so I can replace Miss Tiff's cup/mug.)
-I have lists of FAQ's
My, My, I have a lot of lists. Lucky for me, because when I see that amazing little face......I am going to loose my freaking mind!
Until then, I have my lists!

How embarrassing...

Okay, so my surgery was a hemorrhoidectomy. There I said it. Could it possibly be any more embarrassing??? But I feel that I will lead the charge on making it less embarrassing and removing the stigma!
Okay, so according to my doctor, MD that is, most people have this issue. However, the embarrassment/denial factor deters people from seeking medical help. Well, I try to be pretty forthright, but still this has given me pause. I knew I suffered from them pre pregnancy.....thanks Dad. I believe I was lucky enough to acquire them from my father (he had them, too). Then pregnancy exacerbated them. I decided to have those babies removed before Flora arrived or put it off another 10 years.
I went to the surgeon to discuss having him remove both the rhoids and two cysts. One cyst I have had on my forearm since I was 20 and the other was on my rib cage. The surgeon said that the first cyst was on a tendon and he wouldn't touch it. The second cyst was on my rib cage and a scar there would give me more trouble than the cyst ever would. So there went my cover surgery out the window! So I had to fess up!
I have to say that I was most concerned about the recovery portion of this surgery. When I saw a few of the 16th referred and I thought I might possibly be in that batch, I was about to cancel my surgery. But as things panned out and a few lucky peeps received a surprise referral, I hung in for the long haul.
This recovery is awful. Although I am feeling better overall everyday, there are periods when I think I have slipped back to day 1. I had planned to take Monday off for surgery and Tuesday off for recovery. Wednesday was up in the air. On Wednesday at 11:00 I decided there was no way I would make it back to work this week. I am now concerned that I may not make it back by Monday or Tuesday. I keep thinking that it is a practice run for China.....
To end, I am still not at a place where I could recommend this surgery. Everyday is sheer pain. The secret is keeping your plumbing in order and warm sitz baths. I will let you know in a while if it was worth it. I am just not at that place now.
Couldn't I have found something else to occupy my time at the home stretch???????

R and R......doctor style

Okay, so I had a bit of minor surgery yesterday. It was quick and almost painless, thus far. I have been computer bound since the doctor sent me to bed for lots of rest and some relaxation.

Man, let me just say how pleasant a surgical experience can be. I was sent to the ambulatory surgical center. They gave me a tracking number for Joe to track me. Everyone was so nice and pleasant, really. The funniest thing is the nurse had (and I kid you not) the hand held laser-ringer-upper-thing. You know when you go to any store and they use the price gun. That is what she had. She rang me up, bar code on my bracelet. I guess that would update my tracker number on the big screen tv for hubby to watch. She rang up my meds, IV, bandages, etc. I made some snarky comment (so typical for me) about throwing in a little something for herself.

In the end, my surgery was a success, and I should be 100% by travel time. I did freak for a few moments as some of the 16th was referred, thinking that we may have been included. I would have had to postpone the surgery until AFTER travel.

Now you are probably wondering what type of surgery I had. It is one of those surgeries that is a bit embarrassing. In the end, I have met MANY people that need it, but don't want to admit it and are too embarrassed to go to a doc about it. I am paper pregnant.......I apparently have taken that too seriously!

So I have given many clues throughout this post regarding what type of surgery I had. Suffice it to say, that I do not want to be the butt of anyone's jokes! Ah, who am I kidding, I love a good joke, even with me as the butt!

Feel free to make you guesses in the comments section!

Check out Ellie...

Shannon received her referral for Ellie. Click here to see cute Ellie. I am hoping one day for Flora and Ellie to have a playdate. Congrats Shannon!

And so it shifts....

When we started this journey many, many moons ago the question was what month would we receive our referral. And now the question is when this month will we receive our referral. Will it be the end of this month or the beginning of next month? I believe that we will see referrals arrive the week of October 27th.
I spoke with my agency yesterday. And our referral gal firmly believes that
1. We will see referrals the first week of November.
2. We will travel over Christmas.
Although I do like my agency, I am not in agreement with either of these two statements. As I said earlier, I believe that referrals will arrive a week earlier than she believes. I also think that we may travel before the holiday or return right on Christmas Day.
I suppose that I am still optimistic through this entire process, and as someone in her position, I would certainly err on the side of caution. It is better to have clients pleasantly surprised than totally devastated!
Did someone say those of us on the verge of referrals are super emotional right now????? Well, that person would be correct!

Our USCIS R-O-C-K-S!!!!

I am doing back flips right now! We received our I 171H today! TODAY!! I mailed our third and final request out last Saturday. I ran to the post office at 4:00 last Saturday to get it in the mail, in case we received our referral on Monday. I can not believe that a week went by and I already have it in hand.....amazing! Yipeeee!!!! USCIS ROCKS!

Dog, Pig, or Rat?

Will Flora be a dog, pig, or rat??? I am a dog. E is a pig. J is a sheep. C is an ox. I wonder many things about Flora. What month was she born? What provence is she from? What is she doing now? Is she comfortable? Is she fed? Is she loved? What are you doing, Flora?
R says my posts are more frequent. I agree. She also says the tone has changed. Well, I certainly hope so! This wait has been long, cruel, tiring, and emotional.

Homestretch here we come........ What do you think? Dog (born in 2006).....Pig (born in 2007)..... or Rat (born in 2008)

What a day!

After finding out on Monday that we weren't in....I rebounded a little stunned and confused. Then came yesterday. It was the best day I have had in a long time. For starters, I had the day off from school, Rosh Hashannah! Then, I checked my email bright and early. I received an email from R and T notifying me of my new blog makeover! Doesn't it look amazing? I love the green "paper." Do you know what that rectangle at the top of the page is for? It currently reads "coming soon!" It is for my referral picture. My sweet little Flora will be making her appearance soon. So after that lovely surprise, I trotted off to the gym for a 3 hour workout! It was fantastic. I am still feeling it this morning. Then I came home caught up on emails/RQ/ forum business while watching Martian Boy. I missed the beginning, but I enjoyed the movie. Moving on, I started my nesting. I have decided to make some serious changes to my bedroom prior to Flora's arrival, including painting and redecorating! Boy do I have big plans! But I got underway yesterday. I also cooked for my family. I love to do that. Tuesday is usually rush night where someone yells, "welcome to Moe's." But with the day off dinner was served at 5:45! Wha Hoo......I love being productive! What a fabulous day!!!