Last Day

Well, this is it, our last day here in our house without sweet Flora. Things are quiet! Things are calm! That is all about to change. Seriously folks, if you think that my house is quiet and clam with a 13 year old, GIRL, and an 11 year old, GIRL, you are very wrong. As wonderful as my daughters are, they do yell and scream at each other. My life is far from quiet and calm. So seriously what is one more daughter in the mix.
I am preparing my speech now. I have a 13 year old, an 11 year old, and a 9 month old. Yes, she was adopted. Yes, she was born in China. Yes, they are sisters. Why would I adopt at this stage in my life? Because E and C have brought me so much joy, why wouldn't I want to adopt? Did you look at Flora's face?
Alrighty then! Speech prepared. Check! Packed! Check! Boarding passes in hand! Give me a few more hours to make that 24 hour mark! We are all ready to go (except for my seriously delirious husband who has yet to pack and who is sadly mistaken if he thinks I am going to do it)! He CAN be left behind!
Next post most likely from the airport!
Stay tuned the best is yet to come!

Woo Hoo!!

First, let me give a shout out to those end of February families who, rumor has it, will be getting the call before January 1. I am so excited for you all! And that folks concludes the February LID's! Savor the place where you are! It is utterly amazing!

Second, a welcome home to Shannon, who beamed in every single photo with her new daughter Ellie!

Third, okay I am going to give it to you all awaiting referral to travel people. This wait, for me has been far easier than waiting for our referral. I have a date, which is nearing quickly. It makes the wait so much easier and less emotional. The mounds of paperwork people tell you about, really not so overwhelming. It may have been my agency that "doled out" the paperwork throughout the last two months that made it so manageable. What I have experienced is the reoccurring thoughts of what so we need? What can we leave home? What can I buy there? What can't I buy there? Is my bag too big? too heavy? Argh! I have had packing lists for years and still I am stressing!!!

Three days and counting......ready or not here we come!

The reality of it all...

is most definitely sinking in. I have created shopping lists, and purchased many necessities. I have then created packing lists and sorted all of said necessities. And now has come the time to actually pack all of the those necessities!! The reality has most definitely hit me. Boy, for a family of minimalists (not including clothing) we sure do have a lot of necessities.
We leave in 5 days!!!

Two Weeks and counting!

Two weeks from to today we are China bound!!! I am officially on Winter break as of today! I have packed all of Flora's stuff. Unfortunately for my family and my travel mates there is no room for any clothes etc for me! I will be sporting the same outfit for two weeks,,,,,not really. Luckily I have four suitcases to distribute all of her things among. We are getting closer. Almost there.

I was tagged....Crazy Eights!

Favorite TV Shows (8):
Survivor
The Amazing Race
Seinfeld
Friends
The Biggest Loser
The People’s Court
Judge Judy
My Name is Earl

Favorite Restaurants (8):
Bistro
Stove
The Vintage Kitchen
Crackers
AW Shucks
Koi
Kytobuki
Doumars’s

8 Things I Look Forward To:
Gotcha Day!!
Our sailing trip to the BVI
Working out at the gym
Knitting
Playing Backgammon
Cooking dinner
Hanging out with friends
Basketball games, especially when my daughter plays

8 Things on my Wish List:
Annually visiting the BVI
M-B GL 500, loaded
Remodeling our kitchen
Remodeling our bedroom
Free college education for all my daughters
Live-in housekeeper
Own personal trainer (3x’s a week)
Owning a brand new 34 foot sailboat
What? It did say WISH LIST.......

8 Things I did yesterday:
I worked
I ate one of my favorite meals, bread and cheese
I watched a school play, Anansi and the Moss Covered Rock
I took my daughters to the dentist
I worked out at 5 am
I went to bed at 8:30 pm
I watched Jaws 3-D (don’t ask....)
I did some laundry (I am always behind on laundry)

6 Friends who are tagged!
FinsUp
Meilin
June
Ruby
Syri
Elena

Ready?

I am grateful that my agency has a precise process for handling travel. I think we are almost done with our checklist, but because they dipense the paperwork slowly, I am not so sure that we are done.

I do know this; I know I am ready to go:
Visas (in hand)- check
Paperwork notarized and organized- check
Tickets booked- check
Peditician appointment- check
Insurance called- Husband's job
Money collected- check
Flora's script- ordered
Travel plans- almost finalized
Packed- almost

Change and Plans

Yes, I have been a bit grumbly about our delayed travel. But there has been a change! Yesterday we received via email, our definite plans/itinerary. Here they are.

Depart for China: January 1st
Arrive in Beijing: January 2nd
Tour Beijing: January 3rd
Fly to Nanning: January 4th
Gotcha Day: January 5th!!!
Finalize Adoption in Province: January 6th
Fly to Guangzhou: January 10th or January 11th
Consulate Appointment: January 13th at 9:30am
Take oath and receive visa: the afternoon of January 14th
Fly back to the US: January 15th

Yes, I knew all that before, but this time I read it, it was a bit different. Did you notice the fifth line? It says gotcha day......January 5th!!! Holy cow! We have our referral and now we have gotcha day!! So my bad attitude has changed (it took 2 days R, instead of 1 day)!!!
One month and counting.
Here's hoping that the next batch of referrals arrives soon, like Monday!

Tentative Travel Dates

It is one of those good news/ bad news scenarios. Good news...we are going to China to get Flora!! Bad news.....we don't leave until January 1, 2009. I am not happy about that date. I begged, pleaded but no one cared! [Imagine that...it wasn't all about me (dripping with sarcasm)]. I, as a teacher/administrator, have 3 weeks off for the holidays, and I leave the absolute last day of the break. Same goes for the girls. They are off from school and now they must miss 2.5 weeks plus their exams. Oh, and Joe who is one class away from graduation will not get to do that onetime either. Okay. okay enough complaining.....we are going to China. Watch out Flora here we come!
And another photo!

Waiting on our TA..

Well, it has been nearly one month since we received our referral. We have sent off our visas. We are awaiting our TA, which should arrive any day now. We have told our older girls that they are joining us in China. They are so excited!! We have some more photos of Flora to share. I just can't wait to get there.
I have two special thanks you's to post. First Ann at Red Thread China. She is a dream. She offers a service where we sent Flora a care package. In return we received new photos and updated information on Flora. Second Brian Stuy at research-China.org. He also provides a service of putting his hands on her finding ad. That is a piece of Flora's history we will always have to share with her. These two amazing people provide various other services that are crucial to adoptive (waiting) parents. All I can say is call them.....you never know what may come from those contacts.
UPDATE:Our TA came today....and we have tentative travel dates. However, I am not willing to post them yet, as I don't much care for them, and I am looking for a new travel date! I will keep you posted!
Now, for your viewing pleasure.....my girl.....Flora

Look at the previous post to see updated photos of Flora!

Now for my recent thoughts on the matching process. I think that the job of matcher may be one of the most spectacular jobs EVER! I am interested to hear from my fellow adoption folks what you think it was about your dossier/biography that the "matcher" saw to choose your child for you.
I know that in my heart it was Flora's name, "little sail." We are sailors of the sea. We love the water. In fact, Joe was gone last week sailing a motor sailer down the intercoastal waterway. I also think that her referral pictures look a bit like Joe. One more thing our next sailboat will be named ZiFan....
So why do you think your child was matched with you???

I am speechless....

Look what I received in my "inbox" this morning...

card carrying club member

Let me just say that this adoption community rocks! I have encountered some truly wonderful people along this journey. I have now had the pleasure of meeting even more people since our referral. People really are amazing. I have been contacted by many people. From my yahoo group (I am keeping them anon to protect them only because I didn't ask for permission), a parent told me that a certain great organization, who sponsors babies to put them into foster care, potentially had a photo of Flora in their website. I do believe that it is Flora in the photo. Picture #4! Score! Then I received an email from a gentleman who recently (extremely recently) adopted a daughter from the same orphanage as Flora. He had a photo of his daughter with another child (possibly Flora). The angle was weird, a complete profile. Wow! How fantastic that a stranger would contact you and give you a precious gift like that! Only in special communities, like the adoption world!! Now I have heard from Brian Stuy regarding Flora's finding ad. And last but not least I emailed Anne at Red Thread China to send my sweet baby a care package. I am so excited about all these contacts and potential deeper connections to my daughter!
I am a proud member of the China Adoption Club! This community R-O-C-K-S!!!

How.....

....can you love someone so much and never have even met them? This beautiful little girl will have her entire world totally altered in the near future and she has no idea. We can't even prepare her! Oh, but I will do whatever I can to make her life the best I possibly can.

Where in the world is Flora??

So we/you know that she is in China. And some of you know that she is from Guangxi province. Guangxi is the gray province in Southern China. Nanning is the capitol? Or at least where we will be going to "get" Flora. Not that we have any hard and steadfast plans, but we start in Northern China, Beijing, for a few days. Then we fly to Nanning for 5(ish) days to have gotcha day and finalize the adoption in the eyes of the Chinese government. Finally we are off to Guangzhou, a city due east of Guangxi, where the US consulate is to finalize the adoption for the US government (again 5ish days). We are hoping to travel right before the holidays!

Her Name..

Lin Zi Fan soon to be Flora Josephine ZiFan.
We finally saw the characters for her name and translated them.
Lin (her last name)-means forrest, it is most likely the last name of the director at the orphanage
Zi (her first name)-means child of
Fan (her middle name)- means sail
It is absolutely amazing that she was chosen to be our daughter. We love to sail. We have owned several boats through the years. I wonder who gave her her first name and why they choose that name. I think it is kismet!

I forgot to post that today my girl is 7 months old.

I have 3 daughters!!!

I realized today that I am a mom to three beautiful daughters! Two days ago, I was a mom to two beautiful daughters, and we were in the process of adopting from China (sometimes I would disclose this information and sometimes I would keep it private). But now I have THREE DAUGHTERS!!! I have a face with her name. Emily, Claire, and Flora....the absolute loves of my life (and Joe, too). I can not wait to hold Flora. Is it time to travel yet???? I want to tickle those toes! I want to kiss those tiny little lips. I want to see her intense look for myself. And I want to make her smile. I can't wait!

And voila ....here she is...

Apparently in all my excitement I wrote viola instead of voila! I cringe when I misspell words (which happens more frequently than I care to admit to). Thank you, made in China!! :)

We have a daughter...

We have a wee one.
Name: Lin Zi Fan (last, first, middle)
DOB: 8 April 2008
Where: Guangxi, Yulin SWI
Length: 23 inches (as of 9/1/2008)
Weight: 13 lbs (as of 9/1/2008)
She is normal and healthy.
She laughs out loud (thank goodness in this family)!!
She is a deep sleeper (again, great for our family)
She sucks her fingers.
I will post photos when I receive them!

The stork has landed!!

We are now sitting by the phone that is not ringing. Waiting to hear about Flora...Update to follow!!!

Good Morning!

Today is referral day!! Yay!! After 3.5 years, 4 "missed" special needs attempts.........It is our day! It is our turn!!
I have been awake since 3:15, but made myself "sleep" until 4:15. I am now drinking my first cup of coffee, I have decided to forgo the gym this am, opting for a chemical buzz!! I will keep you posted! No news yet.......

See that....

little rectangle at the top of my blog? Right now it says LID 2/17/06. Tomorrow it will have a photograph of Flora. Can you believe it after years and years of waiting we will know who she is and where she is from and how big she is and what her birthday is. Now, how in the world will I be able to wait the 8 weeks to go and get her?
My agency has issued a stork sighting with an ETA of tommorrow!
Through this whole journey I have lamented, "if I only knew when." Guess what! I know when!!!! Tomorrow is when!!!
Is it tomorrow already? Who won the election?
BTW: excercise your right to vote. We are lucky to have this right!

Another one bites the dust!

Another day has passed and no referral. I really and truly thought a month ago that we would have our referral the last week of October with a worst case scenario the first week November. By Election Day for sure referral in hand. I feel like the sand is running out. One day left to meet my prediction. Fly, Stork. Fly! Better yet, hitch a ride on that jet to make sure you are here by tomorrow!!

Nihao!

I am an early riser. Seriously, I am up most days around 4:30-5:00. I am a bit of a gym rat at those hours. But this daylight savings time has also messed with my internal clock. So here I am blogging at a ridiculous hour (I have been up for the last two hours). Not to mention that I was excited to see Kavanna and Malia as today is their "Gotcha", "Metcha", "Family Day" (or whatever term you would like to use). Oh and I guess I should mention this should be our week! In case you haven't read every previous post I have written.....sometime this week should be our referral day! Fingers crossed that we will hear something on Monday!!!

Update:

No news is.....well it just stinks! I did hear from my agency today. I thought it was nice that they contacted us (all Feb 17th ers) to say that matching is still going on and they will contact us Monday once they have heard from their Beijing office. One more weekend...to survive!

The trick's on me!

Happy Halloween........
No referral yesterday. I would love to see one today, but I am feeling very doubtful that they will arrive. Guaranteeing that next week will bring our referral!!! Okay, maybe not guaranteeing....how about strongly hopeful???

I can predict that.....

....referrals will be arriving today because my dear, sweet husband will be sailing all day. That means the perfect plan of him coming to my office and picking up our beautiful girls on the way so when can all be together when we first see Flora's face are not gonna happen! Translation referrals will arrive today.

Thoughts as we near referral

As I was taking a little R&R at the gym this am, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Flora has a birth mother. I know that over the last few years (during the wait) I have thought about the reality of China, abandonment, and adoption. But it was different this time.

She has a Mom. She has a Mom who will never know her. This woman has given my family the most amazing gift EVER, and she will never know. She has no idea what has happened or will happen to her daughter. I, in the next few weeks, will know everything about Flora. Without even meeting Flora, I will know more about her life than her birth mother ever will. How sad is that?

Did her Mom wiling give her up, or was it difficult? I have had both points of view. The first, in China, especially rural China, girls are not as valued as boys. So are they truly disposable? Does the birth Mom attach to her child while she is pregnant? Or does she disassociate from the pregnancy knowing that there is a 50/50 chance she will not be keeping her baby? Or is the scenario more like the paternal grandmother taking the daughter away from the birth Mom and putting her in the finding spot?

I may never know the answers to those questions. But there is a woman out there, who I want to hug and share in the joy that her daughter is about to bring to our family. I want to tell her that we will love her daughter forever. We will hold her daughter tight. We will protect her daughter. We will watch her soul grow. We will be the best parents to her that we possibly can be. I want to tell her that her daughter will have older sisters, who have been dying to have her daughter join our family. There are so many more things I want to tell her.

We love Flora already and we haven't even met her. And you, birth mom, may love her and will never know her. Wow. Thank you and I am sorry for your pain. One day I would love to tell you all these things, perhaps I will get my opportunity. Until then, thank you, I love you, too.

Matching has Begun!!!

That means that someone in China is about to or just has matched an unsuspecting Flora with a family who is already in love with her.
I want that JOB!!!!

Dreams and Thoughts

I have not had any of those "dreams" that waiting parents often have. I have not seen Flora's face in my dreams. I have seen her face in every child that has come before her. When I think of her, I see the basics: dark eyes, short dark hair,and about 12-15 months old. I predict that she is in Jiangxi. Beyond that I am clueless.
A friend of mine, who also has a daughter born in China, told me yesterday that she had a dream and saw Flora. She said that Flora was beautiful and had short dark, wiry hair, and I was carrying Flora in a front carrier. Sounds good to me!

What a difference a day makes!

Six days ago was my surgery. I have to say I feel SO MUCH better today. I am 90%. I am so flipping thrilled. I just never thought I would be normal again! Thank you for your many well wishes. Pity the person who has to have this surgery, even if just for a week. 8;-)

So this morning I have been pouring over my lists once again. I feel like the song, A Girl of 100 Lists, by the go-go's. Anyone remember that song? I just dated myself! Back to my lists.....
-I have lists of peeps we will travel with (some are part of the yahoo group I started. I wish I could find them all).
-I have lists of things to bring and things to leave at home. -I have lists of restaurants, sightseeing, and shopping.
-I have lists of various provinces and things to do there. I guess I can delete all but the important one in a week or so.
-I have lists of menus of restaurants in China
-I have lists of questions to ask the caregivers
-I have BTDT things to do and things not to do
-I have lists of tidbits of info (like where exactly the Starbucks is in the Forbidden City, so I can replace Miss Tiff's cup/mug.)
-I have lists of FAQ's
My, My, I have a lot of lists. Lucky for me, because when I see that amazing little face......I am going to loose my freaking mind!
Until then, I have my lists!

How embarrassing...

Okay, so my surgery was a hemorrhoidectomy. There I said it. Could it possibly be any more embarrassing??? But I feel that I will lead the charge on making it less embarrassing and removing the stigma!
Okay, so according to my doctor, MD that is, most people have this issue. However, the embarrassment/denial factor deters people from seeking medical help. Well, I try to be pretty forthright, but still this has given me pause. I knew I suffered from them pre pregnancy.....thanks Dad. I believe I was lucky enough to acquire them from my father (he had them, too). Then pregnancy exacerbated them. I decided to have those babies removed before Flora arrived or put it off another 10 years.
I went to the surgeon to discuss having him remove both the rhoids and two cysts. One cyst I have had on my forearm since I was 20 and the other was on my rib cage. The surgeon said that the first cyst was on a tendon and he wouldn't touch it. The second cyst was on my rib cage and a scar there would give me more trouble than the cyst ever would. So there went my cover surgery out the window! So I had to fess up!
I have to say that I was most concerned about the recovery portion of this surgery. When I saw a few of the 16th referred and I thought I might possibly be in that batch, I was about to cancel my surgery. But as things panned out and a few lucky peeps received a surprise referral, I hung in for the long haul.
This recovery is awful. Although I am feeling better overall everyday, there are periods when I think I have slipped back to day 1. I had planned to take Monday off for surgery and Tuesday off for recovery. Wednesday was up in the air. On Wednesday at 11:00 I decided there was no way I would make it back to work this week. I am now concerned that I may not make it back by Monday or Tuesday. I keep thinking that it is a practice run for China.....
To end, I am still not at a place where I could recommend this surgery. Everyday is sheer pain. The secret is keeping your plumbing in order and warm sitz baths. I will let you know in a while if it was worth it. I am just not at that place now.
Couldn't I have found something else to occupy my time at the home stretch???????

R and R......doctor style

Okay, so I had a bit of minor surgery yesterday. It was quick and almost painless, thus far. I have been computer bound since the doctor sent me to bed for lots of rest and some relaxation.

Man, let me just say how pleasant a surgical experience can be. I was sent to the ambulatory surgical center. They gave me a tracking number for Joe to track me. Everyone was so nice and pleasant, really. The funniest thing is the nurse had (and I kid you not) the hand held laser-ringer-upper-thing. You know when you go to any store and they use the price gun. That is what she had. She rang me up, bar code on my bracelet. I guess that would update my tracker number on the big screen tv for hubby to watch. She rang up my meds, IV, bandages, etc. I made some snarky comment (so typical for me) about throwing in a little something for herself.

In the end, my surgery was a success, and I should be 100% by travel time. I did freak for a few moments as some of the 16th was referred, thinking that we may have been included. I would have had to postpone the surgery until AFTER travel.

Now you are probably wondering what type of surgery I had. It is one of those surgeries that is a bit embarrassing. In the end, I have met MANY people that need it, but don't want to admit it and are too embarrassed to go to a doc about it. I am paper pregnant.......I apparently have taken that too seriously!

So I have given many clues throughout this post regarding what type of surgery I had. Suffice it to say, that I do not want to be the butt of anyone's jokes! Ah, who am I kidding, I love a good joke, even with me as the butt!

Feel free to make you guesses in the comments section!

Check out Ellie...

Shannon received her referral for Ellie. Click here to see cute Ellie. I am hoping one day for Flora and Ellie to have a playdate. Congrats Shannon!

And so it shifts....

When we started this journey many, many moons ago the question was what month would we receive our referral. And now the question is when this month will we receive our referral. Will it be the end of this month or the beginning of next month? I believe that we will see referrals arrive the week of October 27th.
I spoke with my agency yesterday. And our referral gal firmly believes that
1. We will see referrals the first week of November.
2. We will travel over Christmas.
Although I do like my agency, I am not in agreement with either of these two statements. As I said earlier, I believe that referrals will arrive a week earlier than she believes. I also think that we may travel before the holiday or return right on Christmas Day.
I suppose that I am still optimistic through this entire process, and as someone in her position, I would certainly err on the side of caution. It is better to have clients pleasantly surprised than totally devastated!
Did someone say those of us on the verge of referrals are super emotional right now????? Well, that person would be correct!

Our USCIS R-O-C-K-S!!!!

I am doing back flips right now! We received our I 171H today! TODAY!! I mailed our third and final request out last Saturday. I ran to the post office at 4:00 last Saturday to get it in the mail, in case we received our referral on Monday. I can not believe that a week went by and I already have it in hand.....amazing! Yipeeee!!!! USCIS ROCKS!

Dog, Pig, or Rat?

Will Flora be a dog, pig, or rat??? I am a dog. E is a pig. J is a sheep. C is an ox. I wonder many things about Flora. What month was she born? What provence is she from? What is she doing now? Is she comfortable? Is she fed? Is she loved? What are you doing, Flora?
R says my posts are more frequent. I agree. She also says the tone has changed. Well, I certainly hope so! This wait has been long, cruel, tiring, and emotional.

Homestretch here we come........ What do you think? Dog (born in 2006).....Pig (born in 2007)..... or Rat (born in 2008)

What a day!

After finding out on Monday that we weren't in....I rebounded a little stunned and confused. Then came yesterday. It was the best day I have had in a long time. For starters, I had the day off from school, Rosh Hashannah! Then, I checked my email bright and early. I received an email from R and T notifying me of my new blog makeover! Doesn't it look amazing? I love the green "paper." Do you know what that rectangle at the top of the page is for? It currently reads "coming soon!" It is for my referral picture. My sweet little Flora will be making her appearance soon. So after that lovely surprise, I trotted off to the gym for a 3 hour workout! It was fantastic. I am still feeling it this morning. Then I came home caught up on emails/RQ/ forum business while watching Martian Boy. I missed the beginning, but I enjoyed the movie. Moving on, I started my nesting. I have decided to make some serious changes to my bedroom prior to Flora's arrival, including painting and redecorating! Boy do I have big plans! But I got underway yesterday. I also cooked for my family. I love to do that. Tuesday is usually rush night where someone yells, "welcome to Moe's." But with the day off dinner was served at 5:45! Wha Hoo......I love being productive! What a fabulous day!!!

Drat!

Although I am not thrilled about pushing this referral back a month, I am excited about October. I love the month of October. i love the weather! I love Halloween! I love that we start ramping up for the holidays. I love the weather here. I also notoriously nest in October. I already have a plan to keep me occupied on the weekends. Hubby isn't quite on board. He'll come around and see it my way....he always does. He is such a great guy! Here's to a fantastic October!

We heard that.....

we did not make the cut-off for this batch of referrals. However, we also heard that the cut-off was 15 Feb. That means we are two days away from our referral. Even the worst batch ever was 2 days! We are so *in* for the next batch.
When will they arrive? Who knows. I did a little bit of arithmatic. I would "guess" that the soonest we could begin to see our referral would be Friday, October 24th and the the latest could be Thursday, November 6th. I love the month of October...I may learn to love it more with the anticipation of seeing my daughter's face in October!
next, Next, NExt, NEXt, NEXT!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow......

We find out tomorrow one of two things:

Our daughter's face, birthdate, and birthplace

OR

That we have to wait until next month to find out our daughter's face, birthdate, and birthplace

So exciting

---

What's new Pussycat?

I must first make my disclaimers:
1. What I am about to share with you can not be shared with anyone else. It is a secret between the two of us...shhhh....my agency may get upset. Okay? So keep this a secret!
2. Over Analyzer Alert!

Now, for the news. My agency sent me an email on Friday. They told me that there are two, yes TWO, packages en route to the grand ole USA from China. Now my agency says that they receive packages all the time from China, however, there is a possibility that referrals may be in one of those TWO packages. Here is where the over analyzer alert must be inserted!
I know several key points here:
1. TA's have not arrived for the previous travel group (I am pretty sure about that). So one package may contain TA's ( I hope for my 2/6 friends).
2. We are the next referral group for our agency.
3. There are TWO packages, which ups our chances of one of those packages being referrals!

Therefore, if referrals are in one of those two packages, we are 100% in for this month! So we wait for Monday 1:00......(our agency said they will call us, regardless)

Is it Monday yet????

Remember, it is our secret!

I would love to.....

tell you that I received an email from my agency saying hello to the Feb 17th families and how my nameless agency has just confirmed from their Beijing office that matching has most certainly started. However, my nameless agency is not currently aware of the cut-off date, nor when referrals will be sent. But if I were to tell you all of that I would have to kill you, seeing how our nameless agency has requested that we not divulge confidential information. So, I didn't receive that email.....sorry to arouse you!

First Rumor is NOT good

Before I talk about the rumors, I must first address the terrible formula poisoning. I have read blurbs about the tainted formula. I cannot wrap my head around it. To spend too much time dwelling on it will make me crazy, simply because I cannot do a thing to change/help it. I know it has affected thousands of children in China. I am sure that our daughters and sons have ingested the toxins. I am sickened and outraged about these events. I am so angry I could scream, but that is not constructive. My heart goes out to all the children, to the ayi's, to the parents, and to the adoptive parents. Stay strong.
Now for the first, bad rumor. It appears that China will put out a small batch of referrals, one day. They want to get "a handle" on the tainted formula crisis, as well they should. I wish everyone good health......

OMG!

The RQ website is down.....how will I make it through the day?????
UPDATE: I found the "old" RQ website. It is a blog. Click here if you are in search of rumors about the referral cut-off!

On Baby Watch

Many, many years ago when I was pregnant with the old one and the young one, I remember what the last two weeks was like. Everyone was on baby watch. Everyone was extra attentive. If I called someone, an immediate return phone call was made "to check to make sure I wasn't in labor."

Now the there is a definite difference between pregnancy and international adoption, aside from the obvious physical. When I was preggers, everyone knew my due date. With this international adoption thing, I feel like I have been making guesses about my due date and people just don't "get it."

I have three friends, who have been down this road before (you both know who you are-L,-R,-T). These women are on my baby watch. I feel a bit like EF Hutton, I call and they listen. Each one of them will call me back right away hoping that I have the "news" for them. You guys are cracking me up. I like calling them, just to see how quickly they respond, a bit The Boy Who Cried Wolf-ish. Seriously Ladies, thanks for being my baby watch, thanks for being there, and thanks for your unrelenting support during this arduous wait. It has meant so much to me! BTW, I'll call you later today..........

The latest redeux

Our lovely Spanish RQ has made contact with her mole, and she expects to hear something by the end of this week regarding the cut-off.
I keep telling myself that I am surprising not as excited as I thought I would be, however, my body language says something very different. I have for several years had bouts with insomnia. Twice over the last few days I have awoken in the wee early morning hours (and I get up at 4:20, so you know it is early) to have difficulty returning to sleep. I have injured fingers from hitting the refresh button every minute! I have been on the computer more than usual. All of these things lead up to perhaps I am more excited than I once believed.....

The Latest

Well, we are, as we have been for the last 3 years, in a holding pattern. I have to say, however, that this holding pattern feels very different from the holding pattern that previous 30 something months had brought. I will not be disappointed with referrals next month, even if I am NOT included. Wow! I can say that with such confidence and truth. If it will not happen in October, then November it is!!! (I don't know why I added December in the poll.)
I have read other blogs over the last few years. At one time, when I was full of excitement about being in logged in, I had nearly 20 blogs that I followed. Joe asked me this morning how I could read and follow other people's lives. I suppose it is because we have a bond and a mutual understanding with others waiting, and we revel in their referrals and excitement. Is it living vicariously through others? I suppose. In any event, thank you to all who have shared your thoughts, your lives, your depression, your elation, and more with me.
One more thing, in order to cope with the long and trying wait, I stopped counting months since LID and forgot about anniversaries (on the 17th of the month). So thanks to the people who did keep track: I think we are at 31 now and nearing the end!! Wha Hoo!!!

Poll Results

First, I must fess up that I logged on a new computer to check my very scientific poll, and I had to vote to view the results. I voted October (because I am hopeful). So the results, minus my October vote, at the time of this post are:
October-7 votes
November-8 votes
December-2 votes
So as you extrapolate from the raw data (trying to sound RQ here), it seems likely that November is the month, however, October is a distinct possibility. And who the hell put December???? Just kidding thanks for taking the time to vote.
So what I conclude is that I am not sure for either month......what??? As R says over and over, "the closer you get, you still don't know!!!"
I would expect to see referrals arrive September 30 or October 1. That is my prediction for "when."

Poll Time

What do ya'll think? When will that precious referral with that gorgeous face arrive? Remember that my LID is 2/17/06 and the CCAA has completed referrals through 2/9/06.

My Sunday......

Sunday I spent the day organizing and purging. I went into Flora's room, and although it appeared ready to the untrained eye, there were 6 rubbermaid boxes and a closet full of children's clothes that had to be "taken care of." I went through nearly all of the remaining clothes of the girls. I cleared 7, yes SEVEN trash bags full of kids clothes. Mostly sizes 5, 6, 6X, and 7. I gave them all to my friend. Who then passes them onto her friends, and so on. Flora's drawers are full and two boxes remain in the closet. One with two diaper bags, just to keep them dust free. And the other box is filled with the items we are taking to China. It feels so good to have "nested" a bit.
E and C also finished a project for Flora. Several years ago they purchased stuff to make a blanket for her. Well they started and completed it this weekend. It seems as the excitement is creeping back into our lives. The girls are getting more excited as J and I are too. See, R., I am not so pessimistic and glum. I think the emotionality of this wait has bothered me more than anything else ever, in terms of emotion. I guess it will be all that sweeter when she is finally here!

One is all you get!

So I log on to RQ this afternoon. Wow we are so close....I was amazed. There I am little ole me right under the horrid case. Well then she writes, if this next batch is decent sized, then I will conduct another poll. What? What? I only got to participate in ONE poll? Are you kidding me? Wow! Okay, I guess I'll take my referral and move on.

Holy Crap!

I can't believe that I woke up this morning to a rumor that said the 9th of February is the cut-off!!! I am shocked! Amazed! Unbelievable! I had the two sided thing going on. On one hand, I wanted to believe that the CCAA would make it to the 16th of February! That would give us one month to get organized....and we would know that we were definitely in for October. On the other hand, I was wondering if we would even get referrals for September. I thought the CCAA would throw us the bone of February 1st-5th (ala dates forward with no referrals). I can't believe that this might be true. The only thing that "worries" me is several agencies on Friday reported that matching had not even begun yet.....Here are my guesses for a referral month: there is an outside chance for October, a very strong chance for November, and an even more of an outside chance for December. I laugh because I have been guessing all along, and so far, I have been wrong every time. Now that we are closer, I have to be right at some point!! So all this waiting and we are almost there......again Holy Crap!

And we are into February....

Just when you are thinking of fall, leaves, football, pumpkins, and Halloween I am talking about FEBRUARY? That's right. The next batch of referrals should reflect the beginning of referrals from February (06). The first five days of February there were no dossiers logged in. So the first day we should see is February 6th. I am hoping that they will get all the way to February 16th. Then next month, October, I know with a February 17th LID I am in and I am prepared for it!!!

I am back

OMG. I am so emotional about this wait. I can not handle so much of the up and downs this crazy journey brings. I realized that I do not have the iron stomach that I thought I had.
It sucks! It sucks! It sucks!
Still waiting, not happily, not joyfully, not patiently, just waiting.........

I let it slip away...

Our 20 something anniversary came and went. I forgot about it for the most part (as I have many of our past anniversaries), until many of my travel mates were posting. I read somebody's blog several months ago (maybe a year ago) who stopped counting and it did her a lot of good. I tried it too. It was hard the first month on the seventeenth I remembered everything. Same with the second month. Then I got to the point where I remembered the date, (the 17th) but not the calculation of time, i.e. 20 months). Now the seventeenth slips away as a regular day. But now as I find us closer to our referral date, I am noticing once again. Still not too excited, but getting there.
My friend R. says the closer you are to your referral, you still don't know your date. Are we 2 months out? Are we 4 months out? Are we 6 months out? (if we are six months out, shoot me N-O-W!)
On the positive side, it appears that the Olympics are not going to be interfering with the referral process per my agency and what seems to be happening with travel approval. I know of someone who will be China bound on 15 AUG. Good news. Although, my belief has always been that referrals will be effected in the September batch of referrals, not so much August. We will have to wait and see.
And finally to Nina, Alyson & Ford, and Dave(people I follow).......fingers crossed! You will be next! I a pulling for you!!!

My house, the pig sty!

I swear my house is as dirty as it can possibly be. We are infested with bugs! We are so disgusting that we have attracted bugs to our bodies. Yes all of the people in my house with a double X chromosome have LICE!!!! LICE!!! In case you did not read correctly I wrote.....L-I-C-E!!!! EEEWWWwwwwwwwww..............GGGrrroooossssssss.

Yep that is how I feel about it. Basically, on E's 13th birthday, she had a sleep over. I happen to be hugging 9:00 pm after singing Happy Birthday to the older one. I looked at C's hair and she was infested with lice. I saw hundreds of eggs. I had not noticed her scratching at all. So after a quick once over to check all of the party guests (only one had it) and the birthday girl (she had it) and me (I had it), my lovely and thankfully bald husband went the drug store to purchase nix to apply to the "dirty girls!" We stayed up until 11:30 that night combing hair. And we called all of the parents offering to return their "dirty" party girls to them. All declined. So the next morning, I combed again. I have since learned that a careful combing which should take a minimum of 2 hours per child should be done. On a side note, I already had lice once this year in May at school. Luckily, the children did not get it then.
Needles to say, E. will always remember her 13th birthday as the birthday she got lice, and I spent the evening combing our her best friends hair!
I have since spent a minimum of 5-6 hours a day combing. I did not realize that nit picking is a full time job!
I have acquired my PhD in LICE! I will type it again...eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww........ggrrooosssssssssssssss!

Happy Birthday, old one!

My older daughter, E, is officially a teenager. Today she is the big 13!!! Everyone says hold on teenage years. So far things have been great with her, me and us! I know that things may change, but I try to remember what it was like to be that age when I talk to her! So far it has helped. She talks to me about many things, of course not everything. However, I would never expect her to talk to me about everything! That would undermine the experience of being an adolescent! She has a great head for making excellent choices and decisions. I am proud of her everyday! One question however......with adolescents does forgetfulness appear? She seems to forget so much. She has lost countless things this past year. She will inadverntently forget to do something I just asked her to do (and she is not being difficult). Nonetheless, I welcome the babysitting years!!!!!!! Bring 'em on!!!
HAPY BIRTHDAY, E!

New Look!

I am the proud winner of a blog make over aka blake over! Miss Tiff ( aka June's mama) redid my blog. She a Miss R believe that my referral is coming soon!! I am glad someone has some optimism. I know I have been cynical for so long it is hard to turn off. Really I believe my month will be October! I love my new blake over...what do you think?

The British Virgin Islands 2008

Okay let me say that this vacation (we did the same thing last year) is the best vacation!! We charter a sailboat. We sail the sailboat from one beautiful island to the next. It is an amazing vacation......did I say that already? Our two daughters, the two of us. No TV. No outside stuff. No plans. No commitments. No rushing. Just lounging. Just snorkeling. Just reading. Just sailing.

Last year when we went I had delusions of grandeur that our little Flora would travel with us this year. In January when we started planning this trip, we were hesitant. What if referrals come and what if we are supposed to be traveling? We threw caution to the wind and decided to go for it. One of the few examples of not putting our lives on hold for China. I am glad we did it!

Tagged?!

OK what does that mean? For what? After a few minutes of research I discovered what it means .....Go visit Nina and Ford and Alyson to see.....
My six word memoir is

Family, Love, Laughter, and Health, Serendipity!

Now, you folks are officially tagged:
Rebecca
Tiffany
Leslie
Kim
Shannon

As to the person who tagged me.....thank you. I liked this one!

Busy and on vacation

Yes, I am still around! Yes, we are still adopting! Yes, I have been on the greatest vacation, again! Yes, I have completed my fingerprints for the third, and FINAL time-no matter what! No, I have not updated my home study (getting ready to start that process). Spoke with my agency today. They predict (she was kind enough to pull out her crystal ball) and I predict an October referral date (unless that O thing gets in the way). Can you say Peking Duck instead of Turkey for Thanksgiving???

two months? really??

I would like to thank R who reminded me about this blog here. I haven't posted in two months. Wow so much has happened personally, and a snail's pace has happened at the CCAA. I am so disillusioned by the showing at the CCAA lately. I can not bring myself to post. Thanks R for the reminder.

Still Waiting

Not dead! Still in limbo! Still waiting. We have decided to hedge our bets and schedule a vacation. We are going to visit the BVI again this year. Our family is so excited..... 10 days, sailing, snorkeling, living......Our lives have been in limbo for years. When will that referral arrive? It certainly hasn't arrived yet an we have held off doing somethings. Well no more. This carefree, piss into the wind attitude will secure a June referral for sure.......just wait and see. As I shared with m RQ February forum friends I am taking one for the team in order to secure a June referral for us all. Actually, I see more of an August referral with an October/November travel time. But we shall see.
I have noticed that although there is still a huge gap between potential referral dates June-December, I see a smaller window forming with a likely referral date. I still believe that even a month or two from our actual referral, the numbers will reveal a three month window of likely dates. I would not be disappointed with a cut off date of February 15 or 16. Even though our LID is February 17, that would mean that we were definitely next. That is a good position to be in these days with the CCAA.
It.will.happen.this.year.

Two Years

That's right! It has been two years since we were logged in at the CCAA in China. We would have never thought for a second that we would be waiting 2.5 years at a minimum. When I think about how quickly this wait is growing, it is mind boggling. L waited 18 months (logged in Oct 05). She received her referral in April. R waited 21 months (logged in Nov 05). She received her referral in August. My wait is already three months longer than R's and I fully expect another 8 month wait. It is sad, disheartening, and painful to watch people wait for their children.
So, happy 2 year anniversary to us!

Referrals are here

Please go check out Zoe! She is gorgeous. I hope they make there for Zoe's first birthday!

Referrals? Maybe, maybe not?!?

There are rumors out there that referrals are on their way, and the cut off is December 27, 2005. Now that is great news as Zoe's mom will be getting her referral (see the blogs listed). It is also great news because in my heart I did not believe that referrals would get past the 20th (i.e one day's worth of referrals). So I am pleasantly surprised! What does that mean for us? Good question! As soon as I have that answer, I will let you know. R told me, when she was awaiting her Nov 17, 2005 referral, the closer you get, you still don't know. She was right. Although we are less than two months away, we have no idea when our number will be up! It could be any where from April (totally unlikely) to December (on the outer range of timing). Have I mentioned the Olympics? What kind of twist is that going to throw into this mix??? We will have to wait and see.

On another note, any and all adoption folk know of the weather devastation happening in China right now. Half the Sky is an organization collecting money to help the orphanages. I am sick because our daughters and sons, collectively, are without heat, food and water. Please donate to Half the Sky to help the children of the world. It is so devastating I can barely wrap my mind around the events there right now. Cold and hungry babies/children are simply horrific.

So much to say, so much to say...

Let's see so much has been happening lately. I feel like I am back on the boards visiting my few favorite blogs. We applied for yet another SN child, because the first three weren't enough. A boy. Darling C. got braces. I, too, got braces. I have some lovely eye disorder that will never be written on a HS. It really isn't a big deal, nothing that therapy and glasses won't cure. Slow my roll...did I mention boy??? Well, yes we requested a girl, officially. Yet our agency posted this list of SN kiddos, and there was the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. Catch is we are family #2. The number ones have his file now and if they say no way, Jose, we are next in line. Boy? BOY? B-O-Y? OMG, I have more fri@@in' pink stuff, either left over or new than I know what to do with. Can you say ebay and shopping spree? Well, honestly chances are slim at best. Family #1 applied for him. They are now reviewing. He will go to the family that is meant to be. Them? Us? Some dark horse? So we wait some more. I am at peace with this whole deal SN, the wait, the whole process. Life is good. I am glad to be here, and our child will be here someday. You caught me at a post chocolate, post Merlot moment. Peace!

Happy Anniversary times TWO....
The 17th of January was our 23 month anniversary for our LID. Then, the 18th of January was our 16th wedding anniversary. The first anniversary slipped by on my radar, as I try not to focus too much energy on the time waiting. The wedding anniversary was a divine meal out with my dear hubby. Of course, our quiet meal brought good conversation. Thoughts of when our daughter will join us certainly did fill a few moments of conversation, however, we once again affirmed our commitment to our daughter and to this process.
I am at peace with everything. Peace is a good place to be. I do check RQ hourly waiting to see any movement of any news/rumors. I am excited, for one of my fellow bloggers is next! yipee! But the next referral batch also gives me a glimpse of when the window might be for our referral. As we get closer that window will start to close. I would anticipate an April (total long shot) to a December (probably on the outer realm) window for a referral.
My heart goes out to all of you waiting. The not knowing seems to be the hardest. I feel for those beyond a February 28, 2006 referral. That wait will grow exponentially. What I keep holding onto is that these are smaller months (December is almost over, January and February are smaller). The CCAA should finish February 2006 in 2009.
So happy anniversary to me. Sixteen years...holy crap, I am old!
Peace to all.....

Friday and a Make-Over

Thought I would lend a new look to the blog. Blogger makes it so easy, even if you aren't too techie.....
The photograph is from our trip last year to the British Virgin Islands. We are hoping to go again, especially with this ever increasing wait. Those are the children of our friends and their Cat boat in the distance. It was the most amazing vacation ever and I hope to repeat it!

So I am back on track.....

Alright after a bit of a break, I think I am back on track. A few postings on the RQ forum, I am feeling better and more thoughtful about the adoption process. Yes, I am anxious to have our daughter join us, but truly she is a gift from China. And quite honestly, China will decide when we she will join our family officially. Yes, I am still impatient. But we are lucky to have her, and I will wait for her until she comes!
Having said all that, I have returned to reading some of my select few fellow bloggies. I got this from Nina. Thanks Nina! you are right. It is on the money!

Your Inner Color is Purple

Your Personality: You're a dreamer and visionary. You believe you were put on this earth to do something great. You in Love: You're very passionate but often too busy for love. You need a partner who sees your vision and adopts it as their own. Your Career: You need a job that helps you make a difference. You have a bright future as a guru, politician, teacher, or musician.

What's Your Inner Color?